Reviewed by Kristin Hall, FNP
Written by Our Editorial Team
At this point, we are all aware of the debate over whether the female G-spot — an area in the vagina that’s said to be extra-orgasmic — even exists, with some extolling its erotic virtues and others declaring it to be an anatomical unicorn.
Most guys with satisfied girlfriends aren’t G-spot atheists, but what might come as a surprise even to the most devoted G-spot worshipers is that men have a special spot of their own which may drive us crazy: the P-spot.
Unlike G-spot stimulation in women, the P-spot is more well-known. Everyone not only agrees that it exists, but that it is already known by another name: the prostate gland.
Prostate stimulation can add to sexual pleasure for men, but you likely have questions and concerns about incorporating the P-spot into your sex life, like:
Is there any difference between prostate orgasms and penile orgasms?
Are prostate-induced orgasms really what we’ve all been missing out on?
Do I have to engage in butt play of some kind?
Below, we’ve explained everything you need to know about your P-spot, or G-spot for men, from how to find the prostate to how you can incorporate it into sex for a more pleasurable experience.
Let’s start at the knobby little core of this conversation: the prostate.
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that sits under your bladder and above the muscles that make up your pelvic floor, surrounding the top part of your urethra and approximately in line with the upper side of your penis. It produces much of the seminal fluid that makes up ejaculate, or semen.
During male sexual arousal (read: when you get turned on), the prostate swells, and many men find that direct or indirect pressure on the gland during sex creates a deep pleasurable sensation that can lead to more powerful and intense orgasms —allegedly.
This pleasurable sensation is likely due to the large number of nerve endings found throughout your prostate gland.
If you’re curious about the difference between the “P-spot” and “male G-spot,” the answer is nothing.
These are two different terms that are used pretty much interchangeably to refer to your prostate gland.
Here’s a “duh” moment for you: the “P” in P-spot is short for prostate. It’s a real organ that can be pointed to in pretty much all anatomy textbooks.
But pointing to it on a medical chart and pointing to it in person are two entirely different tasks (and one requires lube).
So, where is the male G-spot? Well, you’ll have to do some reaching around to locate it exactly. Unlike your penis and testes, your G-spot, or P-spot, is situated inside your body (more on its exact coordinates in a bit).
We’re willing to bet that your most pressing question is what happens when you press on your prostate. Will it feel good — do other guys really enjoy it?
Yes, many men like it when you play with their P-spot. A lot of biological men of all gender identities and sexual orientations do find direct and indirect pressure on their prostate to be really pleasurable.
But some apprehension is understandable because anal penetration remains taboo, especially for many heterosexual men.
Perhaps as a result of that, studies asking men to weigh in on their openness are very hard to come by (we haven’t seen any yet). But in recent years, curiosity seems to be killing the stigma-cat, at least if you believe the headlines.
Stories from Vice about prostate orgasms aren’t exactly a surprise, even when they were published back in 2016, but Men’s Health publishing a prostate orgasm tips list in 2021 shows that the mainstream is at least open to scrolling. And (the obviously superior) British GQ went so far as to ask in 2021 why men are afraid of their P-spots. If nothing else, it’s all representative of a growing trend toward open minds (and butts).
But it’s far from a universal pleasure. Prostate massage isn’t necessarily for everyone, and there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to give this type of thing a try — you should never do anything that you don’t want to.
But if you’re interested in giving it a try, or possibly optimizing your sexual function, you may want to talk to your partner openly about this type of sexual stimulation.
There are several ways to put pressure on your prostate gland. These include stimulating your prostate gland from the outside of your body by gently pushing against your perineum and more directly stimulating your prostate gland through prostate massage.
Stimulating your prostate gland from the outside usually creates a mild sensation that, for many men, produces sexual pleasure. You can do this by using one or more fingers to rub against the perineum and increase prostate stimulation.
Many men find that pushing against the anus without any penetration (for example, just pushing from the outside) also stimulates the male G-spot location indirectly.
A much more direct way to stimulate your male G-spot is by using a self-prostate massage. You can do this manually, by using one or more of your fingers to press against your prostate gland from the inside of your anus.
You can also use a prostate massage device. Many prostate massagers target your prostate gland from the inside and outside of your body to deliver stimulation from multiple angles.
If you don’t feel comfortable stimulating your prostate gland yourself or using a device to reach it for you, you can ask your partner to gently press on the inside wall of your anus to target your prostate gland for you.
The G-spot for men is located about one inch inside the top wall of your anus, meaning it tends to be easy to reach using a finger movement like ringing a very weird-looking doorbell — only when you push it, you’re the one making the sounds.
We’ve given you some landmarks about where this mythical pleasure point is located, but the “Where is a man’s G-spot?” question may be where you scrolled first (prostate toy in hand).
We get it — and we won’t withhold instructions any longer. Let’s dive … err… gently step into this probing question.
First, a note on how to find your prostate by touch. The prostate gland swells when you feel sexually aroused, meaning it generally isn’t too difficult to find if you’ve spent a little bit of time preparing yourself with foreplay or masturbation.
If you do decide to try stimulating your G-spot, it’s best to take it slow. And don’t necessarily try to find the male G-spot on your first anal expedition. Here’s the safest way to explore:
Start by putting some lube on your fingers and carefully massaging the outside of the anus, then gradually slip one or two fingers inside.
To find your P-spot, your fingers should be pointing up (toward the belly button). Try to curl them a little bit, like you’re making the universal signal for “come here.” As we said earlier, you might feel the prostate gland as a small bump similar in size and shape to a walnut.
Many men say that the first thing they notice when someone pushes on their P-spot is a feeling like they have to pee. This makes sense, because the prostate is close to your bladder.
If you notice that you feel like you need to urinate, take it as a sign that you’re in the right place and either keep applying gentle pressure or start massaging your prostate gland.
It’s as simple and as pleasurable as that. And that’s just by yourself — imagine what you can do with the help of a partner…
…or don’t imagine — give it a try.
If you’re ready to try things with a plus one, you can follow the same general principle of “slow and steady” for prostate play with a friend:
For starters, try letting your partner touch your anus from the outside, preferably using as little pressure as possible.
If that feels good, ask them to insert their finger just a tiny little bit, then escalate based on how you feel together.
Alternatively, you might want to try experimenting on your own while you masturbate, then share your discoveries with your partner later.
Take it slow and only proceed if and when you feel comfortable so that you can enjoy the experience, not stress about it.
Either way, it’s important to always do what’s best for you and your partner. Sex is supposed to be fun, intimate and beautiful, not stressful and anxiety-inducing. With a little creativity and flexibility, you can combine this prostate fingering with a number of other sexual activities, from masturbation to blow jobs to penis-in-vagina sex.
Whether you’ve found your P-spot and really like what happened next, or you’re simply curious or actively looking, there are a few things you can do to incorporate prostate play into your regular sex life.
Experiment until you find the best angle, the optimal amount of pressure and the perfect rhythm for prostate stimulation. Maybe it’s just as you’re getting turned on, or maybe you’d rather save it for a moment before you’re about to reach orgasm and ejaculate.
Just remember that not everything is appropriate for anal penetration. Some objects, particularly anything that’s thin or small, can potentially get lost inside your anus, requiring an uncomfortable and embarrassing trip to the emergency room for removal.
To keep yourself safe, stick to toys that are designed specifically for anal play, preferably with a wide base that will prevent them from moving too far up your rectum.
The more affordable FDA-approved medication that treats Erectile Dysfunction at a quarter of the cost. 🙌
Affordable and helps get the job done. Generic Cialis helps you get and maintain your erections through a simple, daily dosage.
Cialis helps you get and keep stronger erections with a daily or as-needed pill.
So, you’re ready to try stimulating your prostate. Great, but there are a few things that you may want to do before engaging in any kind of butt play, whether you’re stimulating your prostate or letting your partner do it for you. It’s all about hygiene, prep and safety:
1. Make sure your rectum and anus are clean.
2. Make sure your hands are clean and free of cuts.
3. Prep with lubrication and, if you're sketched out by poop, rubber gloves. If you or your partner are still feeling a little squeamish (or are into medical fetishes — no judgment!), you can use latex gloves, or the non-latex version if you have an allergy. You can also try finger cots (which are essentially adorable little condoms just big enough for your finger).
4. You should also invest in some high-quality lubricant. Unlike the vagina, your anus has neither girl power nor the ability to lubricate itself, meaning there’s a greater risk of injury when you insert a finger, butt plug or other type of sex toy.
The surface of your anus is also extremely sensitive to touch, meaning lube will both protect you from injury and make the process of inserting anything much easier.
Interested in finding out more about how you can improve your sexual health, performance and pleasure? In addition to learning how to find your G-spot, there are several other ways to enjoy more satisfying, pleasurable sex.
No one is debating whether the prostate exists, but whether it can work as an orgasm-inducing pleasure zone is mostly a matter of personal opinion. If you decide to see if butt play is right for you, remember:
If you’re up for some exploration, great. Keep finding new ways to stimulate your P-spot.
But don’t feel bad if you try it and don’t really enjoy it. Some men find prostate massages to be boring, or even irritating, and that’s okay too.
Above all, do it safely — go slow, use lube, and make sure everything stays clean.
Most importantly, P-spot pleasure isn't a treatment for ED or PE. Don’t go plumbing the depths of your butt just to fix sexual dysfunction.
Whether or not you get into prostate play, it’s important to talk to a healthcare provider if you’re experiencing issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE). And no matter what, communicating clearly with your partner is important not just to overcome common issues such as sexual performance anxiety, but to discover what you like in bed.
You can also learn more about improving your sexual experience in our detailed guide to how to last longer in bed.