Using a Vibrator During Sex: A Guide for Men

While the clitoral vibrator is well known for its ability to stimulate a woman’s erogenous zones, this also leads to a major misconception about vibrators: that they’re only for women. But we’re here to tell you that vibrators aren’t just for people with a clitoris.

Can men use vibrators? Yes. Do men use vibrators? Absolutely. And if you’re not, you could be missing out on some of the best sex of your life — and your partner’s.

Adding a vibrator to your intimate times might improve erectile function and boost sexual performance. But, according to one review of studies, less than half of men incorporate vibrators into their sex lives.

Here’s how, when, and why to change that.

Using a vibrator might help you achieve a better, healthier sex life, and that’s not just according to vibrator producers like We-Vibe or Lelo.

Vibrators can provide extra stimulation for you and your partner. From remote control and hands-free toys to classics like the bullet and wand vibrator, there are lots of options, and all of them can help you have better sex.

Why should you consider adding this new sex toy to your bedroom routine? Here’s a breakdown of some top reasons:

• Better stimulation in partner play. A vibrator can make things much more satisfying for women and men alike. Many women need constant clitoral stimulation to orgasm and can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. A vibrator gives you the option to stimulate the clitoris directly or to put vibrations anywhere that she enjoys. According to one study, participants reported that external stimulation is the quickest ticket to orgasm. For men, both penile and anal vibrators can produce many enjoyable sensations.

• It’s great for foreplay. Some people, especially women, need a warm-up before diving into penetrative sex to help them achieve orgasm. Introducing a vibrator is a great way to get your partner turned on. And while you might think stimulating the clitoris is the only way to please a woman with a vibrator, you can also use it around the perineum, vaginal opening, vulva, labia, or inner thighs.

• It’s a pleasurable way to keep things interesting. Sex toys like vibrators can spice up your sex life by adding a little excitement to the same positions. A silicone toy properly coated with a water-based lube, for example, can turn cowgirl, doggy style, and spooning sex positions into something entirely new — and great.

• It shows your partner you’re thinking about their pleasure, too. Sex toys don’t have to be all about one person’s pleasure. Adding a vibrator to your sexual encounters is a great way to show your partner (or partners) you’re thinking about everyone’s enjoyment, not just yours.

Using a vibrator isn’t just good for your sexual partnerships. It can also benefit your sexual function.

These include:

• Helping with erectile dysfunction (ED) symptoms. Vibratory stimulation is a proven treatment for ED. Experts believe penile vibratory stimulation works by stimulating penile fibers to release nitric oxide, which relaxes the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis. This increases blood flow and penis sensitivity, making it easier to get and stay hard.

• Potentially helping with delayed ejaculation. Using a vibrator may also help with ejaculation issues, including if you can’t ejaculate at all. According to one study involving 36 men, 72 percent reported restored orgasm after vibratory stimulation therapy.

• Potential improvement with prostate issues. There’s limited evidence that prostate massage may help with symptoms of an enlarged prostate, including painful ejaculation.

• Boosting sexual health. Vibrator use can also benefit your sexual wellness. Sex research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that, for men in particular, vibrator use is linked to sexual health-promoting behaviors, like testicular self-exams.

By the way, penis-shaped vibrators aren’t the only option for getting a sexy buzz down there. Here are some male-specific vibrator options to consider:

• Vibrating cock ring. Standing O rings are ring-shaped vibrators that go around the penis shaft and deliver vibrations you and your partner can both feel.

• Thrill Ride prostate massager. The Thrill Ride is a vibrating massager that can stimulate the female G-spot or male prostate.

• OMG Ring penis vibrator. The souped-up OMG Ring vibrator goes around the penis and can help you last longer during sex.

• Bullet vibrator. Sexy and discreet, the rechargeable handheld Bullet vibrator is a simple yet powerful way to help get you and your partner in the mood.

Exactly how to propose incorporating a vibrator for the first time depends on your relationship.

Every relationship is different, but here are a few suggestions for how to bring up vibrator use.

• Bring it up during convos about trying new things in bed: “Hey, I know lots of women use vibrators — you might, too. I’d love to try using it during sex together.”

• Bring it up out of the blue and make sure your partner knows you’re thinking about their pleasure, too: “I was thinking it might be fun for both of us to try using a vibrator during sex. If you’re up for it, I’d love to try it.”

• Give your partner a vibrator as a gift. If you’re unsure whether they would appreciate the gift, you can always bring it up beforehand to gauge your partner’s interest.

These conversation starters work for any type of sex toy, for the record, dildos included.

Vibrators are pretty simple to use, but here are some tips for maximizing your vibrator time:

• Communicate with your partner. Don’t just toss a vibrator onto the sheets and expect good things to happen. Ask your partner about what feels good and vice versa. Be vocal about what you like and don’t like, and give them space to do the same.

• Wash your sex toys. Sharing is caring — but it’s also a potential hygiene issue. Have a sex toy-safe cleaner on hand for washing toys after sex to prevent the spread of bacteria and potential sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You should also wash sex toys before inserting them into different areas (e.g., don’t rub a vibrator around your partner’s anus and then insert it into their vagina).

• Use lube. Depending on how you decide to use the vibrator, adding lubricant may help prevent uncomfortable friction between the skin and the toy.

• Be careful when using a vibrator around the rectum. Not all vibrators are made for anal penetration. If you want to incorporate anal penetration, consider a vibrator with a flared bottom to prevent the worst game of hide and seek ever.

• Charge the toy beforehand. Being in the throes of passion when the vibrator sputters and stops working is ... anticlimactic.

Using a vibrator during sex is a great way to spice up your sex life. As with any other sex toy, it’s essential to keep your vibrator (or vibrators — we love a collection) clean. And make sure to get enthusiastic consent from your partner before getting vibey.

Don’t forget that you can also use a vibrator solo to enhance your masturbation experience. There are potential sexual health benefits, too, including helping with ED symptoms and delayed ejaculation.

If you’re experiencing sexual function issues, Hims offers erectile dysfunction treatments and premature ejaculation treatments online, following a consultation with a healthcare provider who can determine if a prescription is right for you.

To learn more about these treatments, check out our guide on what to expect from erectile dysfunction medication.