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Your sex life, your way
Whether you’re on Reddit or talking to a buddy, you’re bound to come across some new “hack” to level up your sexual performance. Supplements, boosters, power-ups, sex toys — it can be overwhelming figuring out what to try and how much to spend.
Maybe the goal is to last longer or get harder — or maybe you’re not sure what you want, except for sex to be better.
Here’s the thing: There are no shortcuts to good health. If you want to know how to improve sexual performance, you have to focus on building a healthy lifestyle.
Below, we’ll go over 11 key behaviors that, according to medical advice, can teach you how to perform better in bed. Let’s get started.
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First, let’s get something straight about the concept of sexual performance.
Sexual performance isn’t a medical term. It’s a sum of things, like your levels of sexual desire, proper sexual function, and the frequency of sexual activity.
Medically speaking, you’re in fine performing shape if your erectile function runs smoothly. That means:
The blood vessels in your genitals are getting adequate blood flow
You’re able to get and stay hard more or less whenever you want to
Your sexual response to things like foreplay is normal and active
It might also involve your sexual stamina — aka how long you last. Sexual performance could even include factors affecting your sex drive, like testosterone levels.
When any of these things are out of whack, you may have sexual dysfunction (and maybe high blood pressure).
A person might also have sexual performance issues if their lack of sexual experience makes them anxious or causes performance anxiety — men’s health in bed is about more than just the plumbing, fellas.
When it comes to your sex life, there’s no such thing as “normal.” We all have different needs and expectations. And these needs and expectations can change throughout life.
What’s more important than living up to someone else’s definition of normal sexual performance is asking yourself the following questions:
Am I satisfied with my sex life?
Is my partner satisfied with the sex we’re having?
If you want to know how you measure up to others, find out how often other couples have sex and what age some men see their sex lives decline.
But remember, you don’t have to copy someone else’s sex routine. If you’re happy with your sex life, you have nothing to worry about.
If you’re not happy with your sex life, keep reading for tips and guidance on what to do if you’re struggling with sexual problems.
From erectile dysfunction (ED) to premature ejaculation (PE), many things can undermine your game. Luckily, an even greater list of performance-enhancing lifestyle changes can improve your overall health and get you back to business.
The best ways to improve sexual performance:
Exercise to improve sexual stamina
Lower cholesterol to boost sexual function
Eat healthy fats to have better erections
Reduce stress to supercharge your libido
Improve confidence to improve your sexual relationship
Try something new to spice things up
Drink less to elevate your sex drive
Sleep more to improve sexual function
Give up cigarettes to tackle ED
Cut back on sugar to raise your testosterone
Be cautious with sexual supplements
Incorporating just one of these behaviors could boost your sexual performance, so imagine what doing all 11 could do.
Cardiovascular health is closely related to sexual performance — so physical activity is good for pumping more than just your heart.
Being out of shape can be bad for sexual stamina, but working out can be an effective antidote.
Just 30 minutes a day of sweat-breaking exercise can improve your cardiovascular fitness and your sexual health. Targeted ED exercises and pelvic floor exercises like Kegels might help you perform better too.
Heart health is closely linked to sexual health, and high cholesterol is one of the most common risk factors for heart disease. So eating well is crucial to your sexual performance in the long term.
Some evidence shows that cutting down on cholesterol may also improve erectile function. In a small study of men with ED and high cholesterol, lowering cholesterol boosted erectile function and the ability to have penetrative sex.
One of the best ways to reduce cholesterol is to eat more high-fiber foods like fresh fruits and vegetables. If you’re interested in foods to last longer and foods that may help ED, our guides can tell you how to stock your pantry.
Upping your intake of omega-3 fatty acids may boost your cardiovascular health and improve blood flow, consequently improving your sexual performance and erectile function.
Fatty fish like salmon, halibut, sardines, and herring are all rich in omega-3 fatty acids, as are avocados, nuts, seeds, and olive oil. There may be even more avocado benefits sexually to discover, which we talked about in our guide to the superfood.
How you handle stress can have an impact on your sexual performance. Chronic stress leads to elevated cortisol levels, which suppresses the libido (sex drive) and undermines male virility.
By taking time every day to do something you enjoy, you can cut down on anxiety, which is strongly correlated with sexual dysfunction.
Stress isn’t the only mental concern for sexual performance. Sexual confidence can be a determining factor for psychological ED.
Depression, anxiety, and several other mental health conditions can make it hard to focus, feel, enjoy, or be present in the bedroom.
So if you’re struggling, talk to someone about sexual performance anxiety and other concerns.
Having sex more frequently is the best way to improve sexual performance and spice up your sex life. But if you don’t have a consistent sexual partner, masturbating on your own might help.
Try to mix up your habits, regardless.
Sex toys like vibrators can make sex and masturbation more fun, and finding new ways of doing it can increase sexual stamina. If you’re about to finish, slow down or stop and wait a few seconds before you resume.
A glass of wine with dinner can help put you in the mood for sex, but overindulging in alcohol regularly might actually depress your libido.
One simple explanation of how you get ED from alcohol has to do with its effects on that pesky cardiovascular system.
Over the long term, heavy drinking is also associated with liver disease and various other health problems, so cut back on the booze.
Are you too tired to make love? You could be and not even know it. Most testosterone release happens when you’re sleeping.
If you constantly struggle with a lack of sleep, your body might not produce enough testosterone to support healthy erections. A restful night can make for a more satisfying morning, if you know what we mean.
Sorry, but cigarettes are just bad for sex. The connections between smoking and ED are pretty well-established at this point.
Smoking and passive smoking (second-hand) are both associated with significant increases in the risk of ED, not to mention a dozen other heart, lung, and general health problems. Also, your breath tends to smell bad.
When stressed, you may be tempted to drown your sorrows in a sugary soft drink or a bowl of ice cream. Don’t do it — at least, not all the time.
Too much sugar in your diet increases insulin production, which, over time, can make you lose muscle mass and store more fat around your abdomen. High levels of belly fat are correlated with low testosterone and increased estrogen levels — these factors combined could cause low libido or erectile dysfunction.
We’re all about healthy eating and drinking habits, but you should be careful about what else you put in your body.
Supplements (like ginseng) marketed as aphrodisiac treatments to increase sexual performance don’t have the kind of scientific backing you’d want. And they can lead to health issues of their own. In other words, only use scientifically proven treatments for sexual dysfunction.
When in doubt, check with your healthcare provider before taking anything new.
The reality of sexual performance is that not every problem can be cured with an extra trip to the gym or some food substitutions — it may require proven medical techniques.
Erectile dysfunction can have many initial causes. So to treat ED, you may need to try several solutions (even beyond what we mentioned above).
We’ve covered tips to maintain an erection elsewhere, but for now, here’s the low-down on ED treatments:
Hormonal treatment. ED is more common as men age, but its causes aren’t all aging-related. For instance, a healthcare provider may want to look at your hormones due to the low testosterone and ED connection.
Talk therapy and healthy habits. Therapy and lifestyle changes are proven treatments for ED when there’s a physiological or psychological cause.
Prescription medication. Medications like sildenafil (Viagra®) and tadalafil (Cialis®) are well-known examples of PDE5 inhibitors — prescription drugs that support better erectile function by improving blood flow. You might also want to try Stendra® (avanafil) or Hims chewable ED meds.
What about PE? Several premature ejaculation treatments are worth considering:
Talk therapy. Therapy can help premature ejaculation if it’s caused by performance anxiety, body image issues, or relationship conflict. A counselor or sex therapist can help you uncover the emotional issues contributing to your condition and strategize solutions.
Practical techniques. Many men have success with the start-stop method and the squeeze technique. The former involves stopping during sex to avoid ejaculating, and then starting again when the urge passes. With the squeeze technique, you squeeze your penis where the head meets the shaft during a pause in sex.
Antidepressant medication. Your provider may also prescribe antidepressants like sertraline (Zoloft®) or paroxetine (Paxil®). These SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are intended for depression, but one of their side effects is difficulty reaching orgasm, which can be useful if you have PE.
Topical anesthetics. Benzocaine and lidocaine are topical anesthetics that help desensitize your penis. Some condoms, sprays, and wipes are made with these ingredients and applied before sex.
Everything you do impacts your health in some way. The food you eat, your stress levels, and how much you sleep can all affect your sex life.
If you’re serious about improving sexual performance, it may be time to tweak your habits. Remember:
Aim for a healthy lifestyle. Regular exercise, weight management, and other healthy changes to your lifestyle can trickle down to your sex life.
Don’t neglect your mental health. Mental health can’t be ignored as a contributing factor to your sex life. If you’re feeling disconnected or stressed about intimacy, a sex therapist might be able to help.
Treatments are available. Other treatments (like medication) are available for guys who aren’t seeing the results they want from healthy eating, stress management, and regular exercise.
Want more tips on how to improve your sex performance? Explore ways to get harder erections and find out how to become sexually confident.
Hims & Hers has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references. See a mistake? Let us know at [email protected]!
Dr. Kelly Brown is a board certified Urologist and fellowship trained in Andrology. She is an accomplished men’s health expert with a robust background in healthcare innovation, clinical medicine, and academic research. Dr. Brown was previously Medical Director of a male fertility startup where she lead strategy and design of their digital health platform, an innovative education and telehealth model for delivering expert male fertility care.
She completed her undergraduate studies at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (go Heels!) with a Bachelor of Science in Radiologic Science and a Minor in Chemistry. She took a position at University of California Los Angeles as a radiologic technologist in the department of Interventional Cardiology, further solidifying her passion for medicine. She also pursued the unique opportunity to lead departmental design and operational development at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, sparking her passion for the business of healthcare.
Dr. Brown then went on to obtain her doctorate in medicine from the prestigious Northwestern University - Feinberg School of Medicine and Masters in Business Administration from Northwestern University - Kellogg School of Management, with a concentration in Healthcare Management. During her surgical residency in Urology at University of California San Francisco, she utilized her research year to focus on innovations in telemedicine and then served as chief resident with significant contributions to clinical quality improvement. Dr. Brown then completed her Andrology Fellowship at Medical College of Wisconsin, furthering her expertise in male fertility, microsurgery, and sexual function.
Her dedication to caring for patients with compassion, understanding, as well as a unique ability to make guys instantly comfortable discussing anything from sex to sperm makes her a renowned clinician. In addition, her passion for innovation in healthcare combined with her business acumen makes her a formidable leader in the field of men’s health.
Dr. Brown is an avid adventurer; summiting Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania (twice!) and hiking the incredible Torres del Paine Trek in Patagonia, Chile. She deeply appreciates new challenges and diverse cultures on her travels. She lives in Denver with her husband, two children, and beloved Bernese Mountain Dog. You can find Dr. Brown on LinkedIn for more information.
Education & Training
Andrology Fellowship, Medical College of Wisconsin
Urology Residency, University of California San Francisco
M.D. Northwestern University Feinberg School of MedicineB.S. in Radiologic Science, Chemistry Minor, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Published as Kelly Walker
Cowan, B, Walker, K., Rodgers, K., Agyemang, J. (2023). Hormonal Management Improves Semen Analysis Parameters in Men with Abnormal Concentration, Motility, and/or Morphology. Fertility and Sterility, Volume 118, Issue 5, e4. https://www.sciencedirect.com/journal/fertility-and-sterility/vol/120/issue/1/suppl/S
Walker, K., Gogoj, A., Honig, S., Sandlow, J. (2021). What’s New in Male Contraception? AUA Update Series, Volume 40. https://auau.auanet.org/content/update-series-2021-lesson-27-what%E2%80%99s-new-male-contraception
Walker, K., Shindel, A. (2019). AUA Erectile Dysfunction Guideline. AUA Update Series, Volume 38. https://auau.auanet.org/content/course-307
Walker, K., Ramstein, J., & Smith, J. (2019). Regret Regarding Fertility Preservation Decisions Among Male Cancer Patients. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e680-e681. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556300.18991.8e
Walker, K., & Smith, J. (2019). Feasibility Study of Video Telehealth Clinic Visits in Urology. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e545-e545. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556071.60611.37