What Makes You Last Longer in Bed? 14 Strategies

Though estimates vary, some research suggests up to 30 percent of men will experience premature ejaculation (PE) at one point or another. Even those without PE may occasionally want to take a feature-length evening to a director’s cut runtime.

What we’re saying is: Wanting to last longer in bed is totally normal.

To become a master of sexual stamina, you must learn to delay ejaculation. So, how do you do it? What makes you last longer in bed?

There’s no single path to lasting longer in bed. Figuring out what works best for your needs may take some time, so be patient (and ask your partner to be patient with you) until you figure out how to last longer during sex.

If you want to last longer in bed, here are 14 science-backed strategies:

• Try desensitizing condoms or topical premature ejaculation products

• Ask your healthcare provider about medication

• Do pelvic floor exercises

• Focus on foreplay

• Explore different sex positions

• Try the stop-start technique to slow down ejaculation

• Experiment with edging

• Use visualization techniques to calm yourself

• Learn the squeeze technique

• Masturbate before you have sex

• Improve your cardiovascular fitness

• Try to eat a healthier diet

• Communicate with your partner

• Consider talk therapy

To learn why these approaches work and how you can use them for a more satisfying sexual experience and extended sexual pleasure, read on.

1. Try Desensitizing Condoms or Topical Premature Ejaculation Products

From specially designed condoms to numbing agents that can reduce penis sensitivity, the right products can help you last longer.

In general, wearing a condom provides some degree of desensitization, especially thicker ones.

Another way to extend your sexual stamina is with topical anesthetics such as benzocaine or lidocaine. Both benzocaine and lidocaine are used as localized anesthetics, but they can also be used to reduce penis sensitivity. A 2019 study found that, compared to placebo, 4% benzocaine wipes tripled the time to orgasm after two months of use.

Our Clockstopper Climax Delay Wipes use benzocaine to give you greater control over your level of sensitivity during sex. Beyond medicated wipes, sprays, gels, and some condoms for premature ejaculation contain these numbing creams and liquids.

2. Ask Your Healthcare Provider About Medication

How to last longer in bed may be best answered with medical advice from a healthcare professional specializing in sexual dysfunction.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), like fluoxetine (Prozac^®), paroxetine (Paxil^®), and sertraline (Zoloft^®) are antidepressants commonly prescribed to treat mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. They’re also prescribed off-label as treatments for premature ejaculation. The reason is a common side effect of SSRIs: delayed orgasm.

While SSRIs aren’t FDA-approved for PE, your healthcare provider may recommend using this type of medication if you often reach orgasm too early. A 2021 review of 31 studies on SSRIs for PE found that these medications helped with PE symptoms, improved perceived control over ejaculation, and boosted sexual satisfaction. 

Additionally, a 2019 systematic review and meta-analysis published in BMC Urology found that the SSRI paroxetine was well-tolerated and more effective than fluoxetine and escitalopram in the treatment of premature ejaculation. So that may be a good place to start.

Medication for erectile dysfunction might help in certain circumstances. Popular ED treatments are sildenafil (Viagra^®) and tadalafil (Cialis^®).

Talk with a healthcare professional about your options. In the meantime, our guide to premature ejaculation pills goes into detail about how these medications can work to help you last longer in bed. You can also learn more about medication for ED.

3. Do Pelvic Floor Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises (aka Kegel exercises) are linked to several improvements in sexual health, including more control over ejaculation.

Yes, that’s correct: Men can benefit from Kegels, too.

Pelvic floor muscles are located below the penis and control the flow of urine from the bladder. You can feel your pelvic floor muscles in action when you tense while peeing — they help stop the urinary flow and prevent you from defecating.

In a 2014 study, 40 men with lifelong premature ejaculation did 12 weeks of pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation. At the end of the treatment period, more than 80 percent of the patients had gained control over their ejaculatory reflex and increased their intravaginal ejaculatory latency time (IELT) — how long it takes to climax after penetrating the vagina.

4. Focus on Foreplay

Foreplay is an unsung hero of good, satisfying sex. If you’re having trouble figuring out how to last long in bed, it could be the cheat code you need.

According to a survey of over 1,000 women published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, more than 70 percent reported either that clitoral stimulation helped them orgasm during sex or that it was essential for successfully reaching orgasm at all.

In fact, only around 18 percent of the women surveyed reported that they orgasm from sexual intercourse alone. In science, this is referred to as an “opportunity.“

Take advantage of foreplay time — engage in oral sex, use your fingers, or try sex toys (like a penis vibrator) to stimulate your partner and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.

Even a few minutes of foreplay can significantly increase the intensity of sex, helping you and your partner keep the good time going longer.

5. Explore Different Sex Positions

You don’t need to be a certified yoga instructor to try great new sex positions. Trying a few might improve your stamina, increase your partner’s pleasure, or both.

When it comes to how to last longer, men within your friend group may have some suggestions they’ve shared over drinks — but let us bring some physics to the conversation.

It’s all about angles here. The cowgirl or another position that allows your partner to get more pleasure with less thrusting could be the key. This reduces your stimulation and increases your partner’s — and in the process, it might help the two of you reach the finish line at the same time.

We have a guide on sexual positions for small penises, too.

6. Try the Stop-Start Technique to Slow Down Ejaculation

The stop-start technique is a tried-and-true method for slowing down ejaculation and increasing how long you can last in bed.

It’s simple: When you feel like you’re about to ejaculate during sex, stop until you feel the urge to orgasm go away. You can repeat this process several times while you and your partner have sex to extend your stamina.

A 2023 study with 80 men found that the stop-start technique increased IELT. The approach was more effective for participants who also did pelvic floor exercises.

7. Experiment With Edging

Similar to the start-stop method, edging is masturbating or having sex until you’re close to climax, then stopping until you can continue without finishing right away.

By practicing this technique, you may find that when you’re with a partner, you can quickly bring yourself back from the point of no return.

8. Use Visualization Techniques to Calm Yourself

Visualization means using mental images to draw yourself into a specific scene or environment, such as a relaxing space free of any worries.

Though it’s used mostly in meditative relaxation, visualization can also be used in the bedroom to distract you from your urge to climax.

There’s no high-quality research on the effectiveness of visualization for PE, but many guys find that mental distractions in bed can improve their stamina.

Think about a spreadsheet or filling out tax forms if it helps. Or maybe the weather or your favorite dessert. Whatever you go with, try not to turn yourself off completely.

9. Learn the Squeeze Technique

Another way to put the brakes on an imminent orgasm is the squeeze technique. When you’re sexually aroused, blood flow to your penis increases.

Similar to the stop-start technique, the squeeze technique involves firmly squeezing below the glans (head) of your penis as you feel orgasm approaching. Then you wait for the urge to recede before getting back to business with your partner.

Communicate with your partner when using this approach. If you prefer to have your partner squeeze for you, make sure to clearly explain to them how much pressure to apply to your penis and when to squeeze.

10. Masturbate Before You Have Sex

At the end of the day, everyone wants a quick way to beat the system. But the best way to do that may be a solo quickie.

After having an orgasm, your body starts to enter what’s called the refractory period. During this recovery phase, you’ll likely find it harder to get another erection — if you’re even interested in sex at all.

The length of the male refractory period can vary. For some men, it’s less than an hour, while for others, it may last up to 24 hours. Once you figure out what yours is (through practice), masturbating before sex can increase your time to ejaculation with a partner.

11. Improve Your Cardiovascular Fitness

If you want to know how to naturally last longer in bed, physical fitness might be it. For one thing, erectile function issues and high blood pressure (hypertension) are very closely intertwined.

Exercise is vital for maintaining men’s health and overall wellness, and cardiovascular fitness is particularly important when it comes to sexual performance. Your physical stamina (how long you can exercise before getting too winded to continue) is a crucial element of performing in the bedroom.

According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, regular cardiovascular exercise might protect against common forms of sexual dysfunction in both men and women.

The key to getting into working out is to find a form of exercise you enjoy so you’ll actually stick to it. Whether it’s running, walking, swimming, biking, or playing soccer with friends, pretty much any form of cardio is great for sexual function.

12. Try to Eat a Healthier Diet

Research shows that men with obesity have an increased risk of erectile dysfunction. Aside from getting enough exercise every week, aim to eat healthier by prioritizing whole foods.

Certain foods — such as whole-grain carbohydrates, lean meats, low-fat dairy products, fruits, and vegetables — may improve blood flow throughout your body. This can help reduce your risk of issues like ED while maximizing the effects of exercise to increase stamina.

Above all else, try to limit foods high in saturated fats, cholesterol, and sodium, which could have a negative effect on blood circulation and sexual performance.

13. Communicate With Your Partner

Maybe the best answer to how to last longer in bed is to make the experience more natural, calm, and communicative.

Relationship problems often come from a lack of communication, which can affect each person’s self-esteem and reduce the enjoyment of shared sexual activity — the list goes on.

But it’s a two-way street. Communicating your own needs is just as important as asking your partner to.

For instance, your partner may not even be worried about how long you last. Perhaps they prefer clitoral stimulation over penetrative sex. In any case, talking about it will help you figure out what’s satisfying (or not) and what you might be able to do about it.

14. Consider Talk Therapy

If you’ve tried some of the methods above and are still struggling, consider seeing a sex therapist or another mental health professional.

It may seem awkward to talk about your sex life with a stranger, but therapists are trained to handle these particular challenges. You may even look into couples therapy if you’re having a hard time connecting with your partner as a result of sexual performance issues.

A 2011 scientific review of several studies suggested that psychological interventions such as therapy can benefit those with premature ejaculation. Though the authors noted that the evidence was “weak and inconsistent,“ it might still be worth trying.

Contrary to what porn and pop culture might teach, sex doesn’t need to be a marathon to be enjoyable. However, being able to “go the distance“ certainly isn’t a bad thing when it comes to pleasurable, satisfying sex.

For those wanting a cheat sheet, here are the bullet points for what makes you last longer in bed:

• There are ways to improve your stamina. Medications, topical agents, tools, and techniques offer a medley of solutions for a variety of lifestyles.

• You’ll need to figure out what works for your needs. If you’d like to improve your stamina and last longer the next time you have sex, try one or several of the tips above — feel free to mix and match. 

• Getting professional help can speed up your improvements. If you find it very difficult to last in bed and are concerned about premature ejaculation, consider talking to a licensed healthcare provider, such as a urologist, about treatment options.

We can help — Hims offers a wide range of premature ejaculation treatments online, with prescription medications available following an online consultation with a licensed healthcare professional.