How to Have a Healthy Sex Life: 6 Tips

Kristin Hall, FNP

Reviewed by Kristin Hall, FNP

Written by Our Editorial Team

Published 07/13/2021

Updated 07/14/2021

Staying healthy takes work, right? You can’t just sit around and expect to be in tip-top shape.

Well, the same goes for maintaining a healthy sex life. You have to put in a little time and energy into it. But, for obvious reasons, it’s totally worth it. 

Here, we’ve outlined 6 ways you can keep your sexual desire strong and your sex life pleasurable.

Communication Is Key

First, take stock of your sex life and how you feel about it. What do you like about it? Are you satisfied? Is your partner? 

Do you wish you had sex more frequently or felt more sexual intimacy with your partner?

Being satisfied in the bedroom is directly connected to how well you communicate with your partner.

Of course, speaking up can be tricky. You may worry your partner will judge you, or you could be afraid you’ll hurt their feelings.

But think of it this way: wouldn’t you want to know if your sexual partner needed something different? Your partner likely feels the same way. 

Still nervous? Know this: a 2018 study found that there was a significant link between orgasm frequency and communication.

Having an open line of communication between you and your partner can be really powerful and can improve your intimacy and sex life.

Be Curious and Keep Learning

No matter how many times you’ve had sex, there’s always more to learn. Staying curious can keep things steamy.

Learning about sex with a partner you respect may allow you both to explore things you may be interested in, address issues in the bedroom and help discover new ways to find pleasure.

If you are uncomfortable talking about sex with your partner, there are plenty of ways to communicate your needs without having have a bona fided sit-down. 

For instance, sharing articles that resonate with you can be a way to broach different topics.

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Try New Things

If you use the same moves over and over again, things are bound to get a little snoozy in the bedroom — even if you have an active sex life

Trying a new sexual position can keep things interesting and unpredictable. 

Not only that, different positions can help address issues you may be having. For example, entering a woman from behind can help stimulate her G-spot, which can help her orgasm.

Another way to keep your sex life healthy and interesting: introduce sex toys. 

Some men are intimidated by vibrators, thinking they can replace them. Instead, think of a vibrator (like this bullet vibrator) as an ally that can help you please a female partner

One study even found that women who used a vibrator on bed reported significantly higher rates of desire and arousal.

Do Kegel Exercises

Yes, you read that right — kegels aren’t just for women. In fact, they can really help with certain sex issues for men. 

Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. To do them, you want to flex the muscles you use to hold in pee. 

Your goal is to tighten them for five seconds and then release, repeating this 10 times.

So, why is it a good idea to do these? Research has also found that kegels can help alleviate premature ejaculation issues. 

One study of 40 men found that 82.5 percent of them were able to gain control of their ejaculatory reflect after 12 weeks of pelvic floor exercises for PE.

They also help if you deal with erectile dysfunction. One study of 55 healthy men over the age of 20 who were experiencing ED found that after six months of consistent pelvic floor muscle exercises, 40 percent of the men had regained normal erectile function.

Even if you don’t deal with premature ejaculation or ED, kegels are a great way to maintain your sexual fitness. 

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Use Lubrication

If you want things to go smoothly, consider lube — no pun intended! 

In a 2011 study, when lube was used, women reported much higher rates of sexual satisfaction.

Using a lubricant can also create a smoother, more pleasurable experience for you. 

You just have to decide what type of lube you want to use. 

Water-based lubricant is easy to find, affordable and washes off easily — check out ours.  

There’s also silicone-based lube, which lasts longer than the water-based kind. One drawback: some people find their skin gets irritated if they don’t wash it off right after sex.

Get Help When Needed

Fact: you can’t have a healthy sex life if you are dealing with any sort of sexual dysfunction. 

If you suspect you may have erectile dysfunction, it can feel pretty devastating. But you should know that according to the National Institute Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, about 30 million men in the United States are affected by ED.

ED can be treated with medications like tadalafil and sildenafil. If you think you may be a good candidate for these ed medications, the first step is to talk to a healthcare provider

If your sexual issue leans more towards the emotional kind, talking to a sex therapist is a good place to start. 

Talking with someone can help you figure out what you may need to deal with whatever is going on. 

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Having Better Sex

Now that you’ve read all of these tips, know this: you don’t have to do them all at once. 

Pick the ones that you think will be the most helpful in creating an enjoyable sex life and start there. Want to learn more? We also have a sex report and a blog about the latest sexual trends for better sex.

Our suggestion? Start with communication. That’s a skill just about everyone could use. 

When you’re able to clearly talk with your partner about what brings you pleasure and what doesn’t, it’s guaranteed to have a major impact in the bedroom — or wherever you choose to have sex!

10 Sources

Hims & Hers has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references.

  1. Zimmer, D., (2008, January). Interaction Patterns and Communication Skills in Sexually Distressed, Maritally Distressed, and Normal Couples: Two Experimental Studies. Sex and Maritial Therapy. Retrieved from
  2. Jones, A. C., Robinson, W. D., & Seedall, R. B. (2018). The Role of Sexual Communication in Couples Sexual Outcomes: A Dyadic Path Analysis. Journal of marital and family therapy, 44(4), 606–623.
  3. 11 Ways to Help Yourself to a Better Sex Life. Harvard Health. (2019, September 24).
  4. Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Sanders, S., et al. (2009, July). Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by women in the United States: results from a nationally representative study. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6(7):1857-66. Retrieved from
  5. Kegel Exercises For Men. UCLA Health. Retrieved from
  6. Pastore, A., Palleschi, G., et al. (2014, June). Pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation for patients with lifelong premature ejaculation: a novel therapeutic approach. Therapeutic Advances in Urology, 6(3): 83-88. Retrieved from
  7. Dorey, G., Speakman, M., et al. (2005, August). Pelvic floor exercises for erectile dysfunction. BJU International. Retrieved from
  8. Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Sanders, S., et al. (2011, January). Association of Lubricant Use with Womens Sexual Pleasure, Sexual Satisfaction, and Genital Symptoms: A Prospective Daily Diary Study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, P202-212. Retrieved from
  9. What is Lubricant? International Society of Sexual Medicine. Retrieved from
  10. Definition & Facts for Erectile Dysfunction. (2017, July). Retrieved from

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Learn more about our editorial standards here.

Kristin Hall, FNP
Kristin Hall, FNP

Kristin Hall is a board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner with decades of experience in clinical practice and leadership. 

She has an extensive background in Family Medicine as both a front-line healthcare provider and clinical leader through her work as a primary care provider, retail health clinician and as Principal Investigator with the NIH

Certified through the American Nurses Credentialing Center, she brings her expertise in Family Medicine into your home by helping people improve their health and actively participate in their own healthcare. 

Kristin is a St. Louis native and earned her master’s degree in Nursing from St. Louis University, and is also a member of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners. You can find Kristin on LinkedIn for more information.

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