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Your sex life, your way
Whether you’ve just had your first eye-opening experience with a prostate massager, you’re looking for an upgrade, or you and a partner have finally agreed to “give it a try,” there are probably many questions going through your head.
Medical research on prostate massagers isn’t very robust — even the idea of massage devices for prostate health is mostly explored in clinical contexts. The good news, though, is that choosing the right one is just about good ol’ “right-for-you” subjectivity.
But to find the right prostate massage device, you need to understand how prostate massagers work, what makes them different, and where your needs and desires lie. Let’s start with the basics.
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Aside from the alleged health benefits of prostate massage for helping with sexual dysfunction and some urinary issues, it’s predominantly used for pleasure.
Men can orgasm from their prostates — somewhat the same way women can have multiple sources of orgasmic stimulation.
Prostate orgasms are different from penile orgasms in one way: the point of origin. A prostate orgasm is the result of stimulation of the prostate rather than the penis. But prostate orgasms involve a different group of muscles too.
When you have a prostate orgasm, scientists believe you’re actually engaging about a dozen muscles — instead of the four to eight muscles thought to be involved in the contractions from a penile orgasm.
You might be stimulating just the prostate or in combination with the penis, perineum (the area between the penis and scrotum), and other erogenous zones. In any case, the best tool for the job is one that’s comfortable, easy, and pleasurable to use.
Generally, a prostate stimulator will look slightly different from a butt plug (another type of sex toy) because it’ll typically be longer and may not have the flared base. You might separately enjoy a butt plug sexual experience, but those aren’t for prostate stimulation.
The rules aren’t terribly strict, either. Anything can be a prostate massager as long as it’s non-toxic, not sharp or jagged, and won’t get stuck if pushed too far in. You’ll also want to invest in some water-based lubricant — but that’s another story.
A few types of massagers are great for beginners and the experienced alike, all of which are designed to stimulate the prostate (aka the P-spot).
Prostate massagers stimulate prostate glands the way women’s sex toys stimulate G-spots. They can be electronic and motorized with several vibration modes, or they might achieve internal stimulation by being inserted.
Brands that make P-spot devices include Lelo Hugo, Lovehoney, Helix, Aneros, and PlusOne. But while you may opt for a bestseller, you can’t go wrong with any of the following options.
A prostate vibrator offers plenty of sensations for prostate pleasure. Devices with multiple vibration patterns, vibration speeds, and a powerful motor can help you hit that sweet spot of anal pleasure that leads to more intense orgasms.
You’ll have to spend some time experimenting to find the right vibration settings for your needs. But any safe, rechargeable clitoral vibrator or anal vibrator designed to create buzzy sensations can work.
A partner can also use an external vibrator in tandem with anal beads, an anal plug, or a vibrating butt plug to assist you.
Though a dual-motor toy sounds powerful, you don’t necessarily need to bring electricity into the experience to achieve intense stimulation.
The male prostate can be stimulated by any safe silicone or stainless steel sex toy designed for anal play. Yes, curved and targeted toys will deliver direct stimulation, but indirect stimulation might actually be more comfortable and manageable for beginners.
Sexual pleasure can be had the old-fashioned way, with silicone toys of myriad shapes. You’ll want to look for a curved or angled shaft and a bulbous head, which can help you target your prostate better. The curved shape is ideal for isolating the prostate gland — for all experience levels.
You can achieve the same variable speeds and intensity levels while approximating the contoured head and bulbed shaft of a toy with a finger from your (or your partner’s) hand.
Your finger even has some features a toy may not — it’s fairly easy to clean with antibacterial soap, it’s good for intermediate and experienced users alike, and it gives you advanced control during anal penetration, so you can find that walnut-sized gland with relative ease and comfort.
Gently inserting any toy or tool into the rectum for masturbation or sex does require clean-up afterward.
Your prostate is that fleshy bulb several inches inside the rectal canal — it’s on the other side of the rectal wall from your spine, near your bladder. It may take time to locate it, but you’ll know when you do — trust us.
As for safety, prostate massage hasn’t really been studied all that much by scientists, and when it has, it’s mostly been for its medical efficacy. These days, it’s only somewhat accepted as a mechanism for treating chronic prostatitis (swollen or inflamed prostate).
More importantly, toys and fingers can cause injury if not used safely. Finding a good angle of stimulation and the right girth of the toy may take a few tries, so be careful, be gentle, and be extremely patient with your (or your partner’s) body.
Prostate massagers are great for a healthy sex life. If you’re looking to experiment because you want to be adventurous, consider this your nod that it’s a safe and healthy curiosity to explore.
Here’s what to keep in mind about the best prostate massagers:
The best way to maximize your enjoyment is to use one correctly and take care of all your equipment. That may mean telling a partner to go slow, using more lube, or telling a healthcare provider when things aren’t working right.
Prostate massage might be a way around erectile issues like erectile dysfunction (ED), but it’s no solution.
If you’re trying something new because other things aren’t working the way they’re supposed to, it might be better to talk to a healthcare professional.
Hims carries a remote-controlled prostate massager, along with non-slip cock rings, a vibrating penis ring, and a classic bullet vibrator.
Whatever you’re up to, enjoy — and be safe!
Hims & Hers has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references. See a mistake? Let us know at [email protected]!
Dr. Kelly Brown is a board certified Urologist and fellowship trained in Andrology. She is an accomplished men’s health expert with a robust background in healthcare innovation, clinical medicine, and academic research. Dr. Brown was previously Medical Director of a male fertility startup where she lead strategy and design of their digital health platform, an innovative education and telehealth model for delivering expert male fertility care.
She completed her undergraduate studies at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (go Heels!) with a Bachelor of Science in Radiologic Science and a Minor in Chemistry. She took a position at University of California Los Angeles as a radiologic technologist in the department of Interventional Cardiology, further solidifying her passion for medicine. She also pursued the unique opportunity to lead departmental design and operational development at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, sparking her passion for the business of healthcare.
Dr. Brown then went on to obtain her doctorate in medicine from the prestigious Northwestern University - Feinberg School of Medicine and Masters in Business Administration from Northwestern University - Kellogg School of Management, with a concentration in Healthcare Management. During her surgical residency in Urology at University of California San Francisco, she utilized her research year to focus on innovations in telemedicine and then served as chief resident with significant contributions to clinical quality improvement. Dr. Brown then completed her Andrology Fellowship at Medical College of Wisconsin, furthering her expertise in male fertility, microsurgery, and sexual function.
Her dedication to caring for patients with compassion, understanding, as well as a unique ability to make guys instantly comfortable discussing anything from sex to sperm makes her a renowned clinician. In addition, her passion for innovation in healthcare combined with her business acumen makes her a formidable leader in the field of men’s health.
Dr. Brown is an avid adventurer; summiting Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania (twice!) and hiking the incredible Torres del Paine Trek in Patagonia, Chile. She deeply appreciates new challenges and diverse cultures on her travels. She lives in Denver with her husband, two children, and beloved Bernese Mountain Dog. You can find Dr. Brown on LinkedIn for more information.
Education & Training
Andrology Fellowship, Medical College of Wisconsin
Urology Residency, University of California San Francisco
M.D. Northwestern University Feinberg School of MedicineB.S. in Radiologic Science, Chemistry Minor, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Published as Kelly Walker
Cowan, B, Walker, K., Rodgers, K., Agyemang, J. (2023). Hormonal Management Improves Semen Analysis Parameters in Men with Abnormal Concentration, Motility, and/or Morphology. Fertility and Sterility, Volume 118, Issue 5, e4. https://www.sciencedirect.com/journal/fertility-and-sterility/vol/120/issue/1/suppl/S
Walker, K., Gogoj, A., Honig, S., Sandlow, J. (2021). What’s New in Male Contraception? AUA Update Series, Volume 40. https://auau.auanet.org/content/update-series-2021-lesson-27-what%E2%80%99s-new-male-contraception
Walker, K., Shindel, A. (2019). AUA Erectile Dysfunction Guideline. AUA Update Series, Volume 38. https://auau.auanet.org/content/course-307
Walker, K., Ramstein, J., & Smith, J. (2019). Regret Regarding Fertility Preservation Decisions Among Male Cancer Patients. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e680-e681. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556300.18991.8e
Walker, K., & Smith, J. (2019). Feasibility Study of Video Telehealth Clinic Visits in Urology. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e545-e545. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556071.60611.37