Reviewed by Kristin Hall, FNP
Written by Our Editorial Team
Prostate massages are a fairly unexplored part of sexuality for most men. Society isn’t exactly a judgment-free space, and the stigma associated with prostate pleasure can make it feel wrong to explore the subject, learn more about the tools and understand how to use a prostate massager. And we think that’s bullshit. We’re here to get weird.
Whether you’ve used a prostate massager before, want to add a toy to something that has been a manual exercise in the past or are a total newbie exploring a personal taboo, this is an informative and judgment-free zone. Welcome.
We’ve got a lot of information to share about these toys and techniques associated with prostate massage, but before we get into the instruction manual portion of the conversation, let’s start with the obvious: what is a prostate massager?
Prostate massagers are, first and foremost, a way to achieve a prostate orgasm. These devices are often 1) electronic and 2) curved to naturally point at the prostate itself to deliver sensations by stroking, thrusting, or vibrating.
Prostate orgasms are thought to be more intense than penile orgasms because they involve more muscles in the final contractions (a dozen compared with four or so in a penile orgasm).
Each person’s stimulation needs can differ, but like masturbation, you’ll get the hang of it with some time, lube and the right-sized device (more on that later).
That these devices point to the so-called male G-spot,” or “the P-spot” for your pleasure. While the idea of a P-spot isn’t a scientifically agreed upon fact, anyone who’s had the courage to stimulate their prostate (or let someone else do it) will agree that you don’t need science here — you really just need a prostate massager.
Aside from anecdotes about powerful orgasms, however, you’re not going to find answers to many of the modern questions about the benefits of putting a special vibrator into yourself — questions like can a prostate massage work for impotence?
There has been little in the way of data gathered about prostate-induced orgasm, even though plenty of people have experienced one. Actually, there’s so little information that even expert medical texts and reviews point to the anecdotal evidence from less medically sound sources — the stuff you don’t normally see us quoting.
These popular blogs and websites are also the best available resources for product reviews and advice on prostate massage “best practices,” and so it’s here that we’re mostly forced to turn for our own information.
What we can tell you is that expert resources generally agree that while prostate orgasms may be more satisfying than penile orgasms for some people, they also tend to take more time and practice to achieve. We’re all for the good things in life requiring time and effort — and this might be lighter on the “effort” side of things, and heavier on the “time” side.
Though “prostate massager” could certainly be a profession, typically, this phrase refers to a large group of sex toys designed specifically for the purpose of massaging your prostate and bringing some extra stimulation to your sexual activities.
A prostate stimulator is different than a butt plug, which may also be enjoyable as a sexual experience, but does not interact with your prostate.
These devices might take time to insert safely and comfortably, so rather than make you feel it out on your own, consider this guide we compiled to how to do it properly the first (and subsequent) times:
Maybe this is obvious, but your anus and a zucchini do not mix. So, beginners and experts, please use a body-safe product designed for prostate play. And if it’s a shared toy, consider using a condom.
Start slow and use lube. You’ll need to wait for your muscles to relax rather than trying to force a toy into yourself. Waiting for your rectum to relax is also a good time to massage your perineum, by the way.
Once it’s inside, the next task is finding the right places to stimulate yourself. The prostate gland is a fleshy bulb inside the anal canal on the other side of the anal wall, sort of behind your bladder. Finding that spot is your goal.
The fun part. Just remember, prostate milking and massaging are different than anal sex. Continue to engage in anal play until orgasm, ejaculation, tantric bliss or whatever your goal is.
When you’re done with your session, wash, sterilize and store your massager in a safe place. If it ever gets damaged or begins to show signs of wear, replace it. You might not mind a 20-year-old beater of a sedan in your garage, but you should have higher standards with things you park inside yourself.
These tools are designed to stimulate prostate glands in one of several ways. They may have several vibration modes or they may manually create internal stimulation by being moved around. A water-based lube will help with entry and movement.
Unlike your prostate after reading this article, the science of the safety and efficacy of prostate massage for medical purposes isn’t well-explored. The same is true for their safety.
But it’s safe to say that while there isn’t medical data on the long-term dangers of using anal toys for prostate stimulation, plenty of men do so safely and without apparent side effects.
Twenty years ago, scientific reviews pointed to a relatively small amount of anecdotal evidence, biased opinions and small-sized studies to suggest that prostate massage may be useful in treating conditions like chronic prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostate.
Many experts today don’t recommend the procedure for most conditions, like prostatitis (prostate inflammation).
As for the health risks, there are reports of some silicone and other toys being able to transmit diseases like HPV, but generally, there are three major risks you need to know about:
Getting it stuck. There’s a reason you hear horror stories about objects in asses. We’ll spare you the anatomical horror stories and just say that nothing should ever go in too far to remove safely. If you’re using a hands-free or remote control device, make sure it has a flared base so that it won’t get lost.
Not keeping it clean. A dirty toy can spread bacteria and viruses between people, but even if you’re the only user, not cleaning your toy after each use is asking for infections.
Damaged toys causing damage. A crack in silicone or jelly may seem ignorable, but the sharp edges and crevices created by damaged materials can pinch, tear and cut your rectal wall. Avoiding that experience should be your number one priority.
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Should you try a prostate massager? Well, that’s up to you — in part because it will be up in you.
Your personal preference and your relative comfort level with your own body and this particular type of stimulation are all valid reasons to make choices. It’s your ass, it’s your prostate — it’s no one else’s business. It may help to ask yourself a few probing questions before probing elsewhere, namely:
If you’re on the fence or not terribly thrilled about the idea, consider asking yourself why you’re even considering something that doesn’t sound up your alley (or your butt).
Is it to spice things up? To bring some excitement back to the bedroom? If you’re missing that spark, consider talking to a mental health professional about those concerns.
We’re not going to lecture you on erectile dysfunction and other forms of sexual dysfunction, but things in the bedroom might be a little unimpressive right now if you’re dealing with psychological causes of ED (or physical ones, for that matter).
This is a very common thing for many men. If things aren’t working the way they used to, consider talking to a healthcare provider about medications like Cialis® (tadalafil) and Viagra® (sildenafil). These phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitors can prevent you from going soft when it’s really inopportune.
Medication, along with certain types of therapy (like online counseling), might be the tools you need to get your status back to active.
You might also want to look at lifestyle factors like alcohol, tobacco and drug use, as well as your diet and exercise. Sexual dysfunction doesn’t have to be the result of any one thing, but these are the common sources of problems.
Using a prostate massager isn’t dangerous when done carefully and gently, with time for muscles to relax. Over time, it may even provide some of the most exciting sexual experiences of your life. But bringing one into your bedroom is your own choice.
Prostate orgasms can be great. Though the medical community doesn’t have much to say about it, proponents of prostate vibrators say prostate orgasms are uhh… the bee’s knees.
A prostate massager is safe to use as long as you follow the rules. Use devices designed for the task and go easy. Treat your butt like a museum — not a straightaway. Take your time exploring.
A prostate massager probably won’t fix sexual dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction and prostate massages are an intriguing but underexplored area of medicine, but the solution to that problem doesn’t seem to be up anyone’s ass.
The rest is up to you. If you’re ready to be on the lookout for discreet packaging and open to opening up to the experience, now is the time to give prostate massagers a try.
If you’re ready to try something new, consider our selection of toys — Hims offers plenty of ways to spice up your intimacy with safe and fun-to-use products. Happy exploring!