Why Travel Sex Is So Thrilling

When I think of cities like Paris and Barcelona, visits to the Louvre and Park Güell, respectively, don’t stick out for me as vividly as my flings with a French waiter named Julien and a Spanish guitarist named Luis. These short-lived vacation romances were intense because in each case, it was clear from the outset that my time with these men would be brief and finite. I could be anyone I wanted to be on vacation, and solo travel permitted me to be the wildest, most daring version of myself.

Fast-forward to more than a decade later, and I’m married (to a guy I met on vacation) and have a kid. Most of our trips now involve rollaway beds and family-friendly activities. But on those rare occasions when we take a childless trip and can have some vacation sex, I transform back into that wild, daring person I used to be for a few days.

Travel sex has long felt so much better than sex at home. But why? Is it because we’re out of our routine? Or does a change of scenery cast a spell on us?

Here are some common reasons sex while traveling tends to be better:

• You’re more relaxed

• It’s easier to get in a headspace to explore fantasies

• You’re far away from real-life responsibilities (that aren’t sexy)

• You have more time for sex

• Your kids might not be around

• With a long-term partner, you can relive the “old days”

When I asked a few friends why they think they have hotter sex while traveling, most of them said the same two things: They’re less stressed on vacations, and there are no kids around.

“My mind is more relaxed,” says Glenda, 43. “I try not to think of daily life pressures.” She also confides that being on vacation makes it easier to indulge in her sexual fantasies.

Katherin, 51, says being able to fully relax and unplug from normal responsibilities can make all the difference. “It’s the novelty of a new environment—one that doesn’t have the history of life and day-to-day marital shenanigans.”

According to marriage and family therapist Becky Whetstone, PhD, author of the book I (Think) I Want Out: What To Do When One of You Wants To End Your Marriage, both Glenda’s and Katherin’s thoughts are on the money. “A home is like a trigger,” she says. “You see that pile of bills sitting on the counter and your brain thinks of how tight money is, how you spend too much, how you probably ought to sell your motorcycle, and ‘Oh my gosh, I need to take the trash out.’” She says going on vacation relieves you of your usual responsibilities and obligations, leaving more time for playtime and sex.

Then, of course, there’s the added bonus of being away from the kids, if you’re a parent. Research supports that becoming a parent often results in less sex and lower sexual satisfaction. (Though, these effects were less statistically significant after 12-months postpartum.)

When traveling childless, there’s no risk of being interrupted by a snack request or a fight between siblings. But that’s not all. According to sex therapist Leigh Norén, a getaway without kids can also double as a (potentially sexy) trip down memory lane. “If you go away without kids, you're often reminded of who you were as a couple before you became parents, which helps you access those memories of the early days when most couples often had more and better sex,” she says. “It's also [often] easier for couples to connect emotionally on a holiday when they don't have to worry about school pick-up and drop-off or who's going to do the food shopping.” For these reasons, she says romantic vacations can help couples break dry spells.

Though you may not look forward to a trip being over, there’s a chance that the magic of vacation sex can carry over into your sex life at home. But this positive impact may have more to do with your travel experiences outside the hotel room.

A 2024 study of several hundred partners found that couples who do novel, interesting, and challenging activities together while on vacation have higher romantic passion and physical intimacy after their vacations have ended. The activities don’t have to be complex or costly, either. This can include itinerary items like trying a new cuisine or experiencing a cultural tradition. It can also be as simple as taking a local class or going on a tough hike together.

You can also try to re-create a vacation-like experience at home by swapping out your usual sheets for luxurious hotel-quality bedding, planning date nights to new local spots, and disconnecting from screens to spend more quality time together. Even if you have places to be and things to do, try to slow down and savor all the moments leading up to sex—anything can count as foreplay, after all.

The nature of having a hotel room to yourself and no major responsibilities is probably all you need to have a good time with your partner. But there are other things you can do to ensure your vacation sex is all that you want it to be. It begins with choosing the right destination.

Steer clear of family-friendly resorts that might kill the sexy vibe. Also, try to pick an aesthetically different destination from where you live. This way, even if you can’t get super far away, distance-wise, you should still be able to feel mentally transported.

Also, aim to be open to trying new things. For female partners, that might not be too difficult: A 2013 study found that women are often more sexually adventurous while traveling, whether with a partner or solo (and open to a fling).

Some things you can try:

• Have sex any time of day

• Travel with your sex toys

• Explore sexual kinks

• Bring lube

• Do some role-play

• Have sex in the shower

• Try new sex positions

• Take your time on foreplay

• Share your sexual fantasies

• Stimulate your erogenous zones

• Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves

Travel sex isn’t just reserved for established couples. According to a 2021 survey of 500 Americans by the travel website The Vacationer, nearly 30 percent of respondents have had at least one one-night stand on vacation. And around 16 percent admitted that their standards of whom they’d consider for a sex partner were even more relaxed while traveling.

Safety Precautions to Consider With Vacation Flings

However, having casual sex on vacation shouldn’t come at the cost of your health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an estimated 20 to 34 percent of male international travelers engage in casual sex abroad, and 43 to 49 percent of all travelers having casual sex abroad have engaged in unprotected sex, leaving them more vulnerable to contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

STI risk, especially gonorrhea and HIV, is even higher for sex tourists, a term to describe people who travel around the world to have sex with commercial sex workers. While sex work is legal in some parts of the world, sex tourism is often linked to human trafficking, which is one of the largest criminal industries in the world.

Here are some tips to have safe and healthy sexual encounters while traveling:

• Use a dating app or social media to meet local singles and specify in your profile that you’re in town temporarily; meet in a public place and share your location with a loved one who knows where you are.

• Always practice safe sex, even if you’re just having oral sex

• Consider getting vaccines or taking preventative medicine regimens like PreP to prevent HIV

• Avoid drinking excessive amounts of alcohol in order to preserve your coherence and ability to make sound decisions

• Don’t break any local laws

• Don’t expect to fall in love on vacation (though it does happen!)

If your sex life has been feeling bland lately, it may be time for your next vacation. But, if you’re a parent like me, you may want to make arrangements to leave your kid at home. Here’s what we know about why travel sex is so thrilling:

• The thrill of travel sex comes from the freedom and novelty of being away from home. Being in a new environment away from everyday stresses and responsibilities allows couples to reconnect emotionally and physically.

• The magic of travel sex can also be maintained at home. Studies show that when couples try new things on vacation, it can boost physical intimacy after the trip is over.

• Safe sex is crucial if you’re having a vacation fling. While vacation flings are fun, it’s important to protect your health by practicing safe sex to reduce your risk of STIs.

Want more tips on how to spice things up in your relationship? Learn how to make a woman orgasm and explore a range of sexual health products, ranging from sex toys and condoms to erectile dysfunction (ED) medication.