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Your sex life, your way
Do a Google search on “how to make a girl cum fast,” and you’ll come across a range of wild (and wildly inaccurate) tips and tricks. Between the G-spot, the clitoris, and the increasingly complicated world of sex toys, the female orgasm can feel more elusive than ever.
The truth is, every woman is different. The best tips on how to make a girl orgasm? Be attentive, patient, and willing to explore erogenous zones together to figure out what brings her the most sexual pleasure. You don’t need to master hundreds of sex positions, buy a bunch of vibrators, or develop next-level jaw stamina to help a woman orgasm.
Below, we’ll help you troubleshoot why you’re not getting her all the way there and offer advice for refocusing your sexual efforts, so you better understand how to make her orgasm.
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Helping your partner reach orgasm might seem complicated, but you only need to follow six simple tips to make a big difference in her satisfaction.
Our top tips on how to make a girl cum are:
Don’t skip foreplay.
Change positions.
Communicate and be vulnerable.
Put more than your penis to work.
Take care of premature ejaculation issues.
Deal with your hangups (and ED, if necessary).
Keep reading for more details.
Foreplay is key to making a girl orgasm. It plays a crucial role in increasing sexual arousal and the ability to climax. But, according to research, it often gets overlooked.
Researchers in one study found that while both men and women ideally want about 20 minutes of foreplay, they usually only get around 10.
Everyone has their own idea about what foreplay looks like, but here are some possible foreplay ideas:
Sexting and dirty talk
Kissing, touching, gentle caressing
Oral sex
Massage
Showering or bathing together
Cuddling
Mutual masturbation
Sharing fantasies
Roleplay and cosplay
Satisfying sex can mean different things to different people. However, popular options like missionary position or doggy style might not provide enough stimulation for her to achieve orgasm.
Why not let her take the lead on positions? Some offer better G-spot stimulation, and others are better at directly stimulating the nerve endings in the clitoris.
Woman on top (AKA “cowgirl”) is another option for finding an angle that feels good for her. Being on top can make it easier for her to use her fingers or a sex toy to achieve a clitoral orgasm while you’re inside her.
And research shows that orgasms from clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration may provide better overall sexual satisfaction than penetration alone.
No need to call a sex therapist or listen to yet another sexologist podcast to have the best sex. Here’s a straightforward piece of advice: Talk to your partner.
Chances are, if you’re stressed about not meeting her needs, she probably senses it too. Addressing the obvious can give you both an opportunity to express what you really want.
Women tend to have very different sexual experiences than men. Their orgasms, arousal, and overall pleasure can be more complex. But getting to know her preferences might actually take some pressure off you.
Don’t think of sex toys as your enemies or your competition. Rather, they’re your allies in a satisfying sex life. Discovering how she enjoys using sex toys can help spice up your sex life.
The same goes for lube and other sex aids, especially when natural lubrication isn’t always enough.
Some tools and toys to try:
Roller Coaster Bullet Vibrator. At just under 5 inches, this compact classic bullet vibrator is surprisingly powerful. Made of supersoft silicone, the vibrator has three pulsing patterns and works for solo or partner play — even in the shower or bathtub.
OMG Ring Penis Vibrator. You wear this hands-free vibrator on your penis and control it with a remote. It mimics the natural rhythm of sex by starting off slow and building until you and your partner climax. You can both benefit from its five pulsing patterns and five intensities.
Lube. Keep things slippery with a premium aloe and water-based lube. It’s safe for people with sensitive skin and you can use it with condoms for friction-free sex.
Are you finishing too early and worrying it’s stopping her from reaching orgasm?
Premature ejaculation means you have difficulty controlling your ability to delay ejaculation. Don’t worry, it’s a common sexual dysfunction and nothing to be ashamed of.
PE happens to many men as a result of excitement or medications. But it’s only a problem if you ignore it. Addressing PE can help improve your stamina and confidence in the bedroom.
Explore premature ejaculation treatments, including prescription medication (like off-label sildenafil) and over-the-counter (OTC) products (like benzocaine wipes) to reduce sensitivity and prolong sex.
Find out more about how to increase sexual stamina for a healthier sex life.
No two people share the same sexual needs, fantasies, or energy levels. And sometimes, it’s best to talk about sexual function issues with a healthcare professional.
If you’re struggling with the demands of high libido in women or dealing with intimacy issues, a mental health professional can help.
You might also find it helpful to address erectile dysfunction (ED), whether it’s a psychological or physiological issue. There are plenty of ED treatments out there, from prescription meds and therapy to simple lifestyle changes.
Our guide on how to increase blood flow to your penis includes some healthy habit suggestions to help improve penile function.
There are many reasons a woman might not orgasm — and it isn’t always your fault.
While most straight men get plenty of satisfaction from penetrative sex, research shows that most P in V intercourse doesn’t provide the clitoral stimulation needed for many women to finish.
Research also suggests that as few as six percent of women can climax from penetrative sex alone. Some women achieve better orgasmic success with a combination of stimulation, including:
Digital (AKA fingering)
Oral
Penetrative
Religious beliefs, menopause, and a history of sexual trauma can also impact a woman’s ability to reach orgasm with a partner.
In relationships, one key factor boosts a woman’s chances of finishing: commitment. Women in committed relationships orgasm more often than those in casual ones.
What this data suggests is that when your partner feels comfortable and connected to you, they can truly let loose and enjoy themselves.
Notice how we didn’t mention penis size at all? A good partner gives her what she needs. Sometimes, that means experimenting with sex toys, whether that’s cock rings or a dildo, and other intimate items to make the experience even better. Also don’t hesitate to use lube if needed.
The female orgasm doesn’t have to be a mystery. Remember:
A lot of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Get ready to explore other areas of her body and experiment with sex toys, different positions, and extra foreplay.
Communication is key. Discover your partner’s turn-ons by asking her. And don’t be afraid to share your own either. Couples who communicate openly are healthier, happier, and more sexually satisfied.
See a professional for issues like ED. A medical professional can help you if you’re dealing with sexual health issues like ED or PE. They can prescribe treatments like SSRIs and work with you to find out how performance anxiety affects your sex life. Ask your provider about PDE5 inhibitors like sildenafil (Viagra®), tadalafil (Cialis®), avanafil (Stendra®), vardenafil (Levitra®), or chewable ED meds like Hims Hard Mints.
Remember penetration isn’t the only way to please a woman. Check out these non-penetrative sex ideas and find out the best way to initiate sex with your partner.
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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Learn more about our editorial standards here.
Dr. Kelly Brown is a board certified Urologist and fellowship trained in Andrology. She is an accomplished men’s health expert with a robust background in healthcare innovation, clinical medicine, and academic research. Dr. Brown was previously Medical Director of a male fertility startup where she lead strategy and design of their digital health platform, an innovative education and telehealth model for delivering expert male fertility care.
She completed her undergraduate studies at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (go Heels!) with a Bachelor of Science in Radiologic Science and a Minor in Chemistry. She took a position at University of California Los Angeles as a radiologic technologist in the department of Interventional Cardiology, further solidifying her passion for medicine. She also pursued the unique opportunity to lead departmental design and operational development at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, sparking her passion for the business of healthcare.
Dr. Brown then went on to obtain her doctorate in medicine from the prestigious Northwestern University - Feinberg School of Medicine and Masters in Business Administration from Northwestern University - Kellogg School of Management, with a concentration in Healthcare Management. During her surgical residency in Urology at University of California San Francisco, she utilized her research year to focus on innovations in telemedicine and then served as chief resident with significant contributions to clinical quality improvement. Dr. Brown then completed her Andrology Fellowship at Medical College of Wisconsin, furthering her expertise in male fertility, microsurgery, and sexual function.
Her dedication to caring for patients with compassion, understanding, as well as a unique ability to make guys instantly comfortable discussing anything from sex to sperm makes her a renowned clinician. In addition, her passion for innovation in healthcare combined with her business acumen makes her a formidable leader in the field of men’s health.
Dr. Brown is an avid adventurer; summiting Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania (twice!) and hiking the incredible Torres del Paine Trek in Patagonia, Chile. She deeply appreciates new challenges and diverse cultures on her travels. She lives in Denver with her husband, two children, and beloved Bernese Mountain Dog. You can find Dr. Brown on LinkedIn for more information.
Education & Training
Andrology Fellowship, Medical College of Wisconsin
Urology Residency, University of California San Francisco
M.D. Northwestern University Feinberg School of MedicineB.S. in Radiologic Science, Chemistry Minor, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Published as Kelly Walker
Cowan, B, Walker, K., Rodgers, K., Agyemang, J. (2023). Hormonal Management Improves Semen Analysis Parameters in Men with Abnormal Concentration, Motility, and/or Morphology. Fertility and Sterility, Volume 118, Issue 5, e4. https://www.sciencedirect.com/journal/fertility-and-sterility/vol/120/issue/1/suppl/S
Walker, K., Gogoj, A., Honig, S., Sandlow, J. (2021). What’s New in Male Contraception? AUA Update Series, Volume 40. https://auau.auanet.org/content/update-series-2021-lesson-27-what%E2%80%99s-new-male-contraception
Walker, K., Shindel, A. (2019). AUA Erectile Dysfunction Guideline. AUA Update Series, Volume 38. https://auau.auanet.org/content/course-307
Walker, K., Ramstein, J., & Smith, J. (2019). Regret Regarding Fertility Preservation Decisions Among Male Cancer Patients. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e680-e681. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556300.18991.8e
Walker, K., & Smith, J. (2019). Feasibility Study of Video Telehealth Clinic Visits in Urology. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e545-e545. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556071.60611.37