Sexual Kinks

Written byErica Garza
Published 01/17/2025

Do you get turned on by hot wax? What about having sex in public? Do you fantasize about getting your balls flogged or being spanked until you’re sore?

Overview

What Is a Kink?

Do you get turned on by hot wax? What about having sex in public? Do you fantasize about getting your balls flogged or being spanked until you’re sore?

Welcome to the world of sexual kinks. A sexual kink broadly refers to sexual interests or activities that fall outside the realm of what is considered typical or traditional sexual behavior. Sexual kinks vary widely and are part of a broad spectrum of human sexuality (in other words, kinks are a completely normal part of being a human).

When practiced consensually and safely, kinky sex can lead to greater sexual gratification, improved communication between partners, stress relief, and even enhanced intimacy.

In this guide, we’ll share a list of kinks, the benefits of kink play, and tips for integrating these acts into your sex life.

The Basics

Kinks and Fetishes: What’s the Difference?

The terms “kink” and “fetish” are often used interchangeably, but they’re not the same thing.

Like kinks, fetishes typically fall outside the bounds of what are considered typical or mainstream sexual practices. The difference is that a fetish involves non-sexual objects, body parts, or behaviors that need to be present for a person to feel sexual arousal. Some examples of fetishes include foot fetishes (podophilia), balloon fetishes (called “looners”), and a fetish for body hair (hirsute fetish).

While a kinkster might indulge in different types of kink, a fetishist will find it challenging to get turned on or sexually satisfied if their sexual activity doesn’t include their fetish. Think of a kink as a sexual preference, while a fetish is more of a sexual need.

A-Z Kink List

You’re probably familiar with some of the most common kinks, like the sexual trends of role play or BDSM (that is, sexual activity that involves physical restraint, control, and/or pain). But have you heard of agoraphilia or praise kink? The world of kinks is a diverse one.

Here are a few examples you may want to explore solo or with a partner to spice up your sex life:

Age Play

Age play is a type of role play in which one or both partners pretend to be a different age than they are. For example, you or your partner might pretend to be an older, more mature person than you actually are. Or you might like to be called “daddy” or feel sexual attraction toward a “daddy” who has taken on the dominant role.

Agoraphilia

Agoraphilia refers to public sex. You may get off on the idea of being watched or caught, which overlaps with exhibitionism. Agoraphilia should be practiced with care and caution, as you can face legal consequences if you do get caught.

Asphyxiation

Do you get turned on when you hold your breath? Erotic asphyxiation, or breath play, involves restricting oxygen during sex to intensify orgasms. It may involve consensual choking or being choked and can be extremely risky if not done properly. A safer way to play is to simply hold your breath during sex or masturbation to explore the sensation.

BDSM

BDSM is the acronym for bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism (or submission), and masochism. It is one of the most popular kinks and involves a power exchange between a dominant partner (dom) and a submissive partner (sub, sadist, or masochist).

BDSM is an umbrella term that can include all sorts of kinky practices like the aforementioned asphyxiation. It often involves consensual physical restraint and inflicting pain.

Practicing BDSM takes a lot of communication and boundary-setting, including establishing safe words before play to use if the sexual experience has become too intense or unenjoyable.

Cock and Ball Torture

Cock and ball torture (CBT) is exactly what it sounds like, though the practice may vary in terms of intensity and methods used. You may enjoy having your scrotum squeezed, kicked, or crushed. Or, you may prefer your penis to be punched or slapped. Like some of the other items on this list, cock and ball torture can be risky, so communication and safe words are essential.

Cuckolding

If you’re a cuck, it means you get sexually aroused by your partner having sex with someone else. You might like watching your partner have sex (voyeurism) or have sexual fantasies about them doing so. Most cucks get off on the humiliation, so the practice is often linked to BDSM.

Praise Kink

Praise kink is a type of dirty talk that involves giving praise, approval, or compliments. You might enjoy being called a “good boy” or telling your partner they’re doing a good job when they’re performing oral sex.

Role Play

Have a background in theater? Take those skills to the bedroom. Role play involves pretending to be a character and acting out a sexual scene. We talked about age play already, but the types of role play out there are limitless.

Some popular roleplay scenarios include:

  • Teacher and student

  • Boss and employee

  • Repair person and homeowner

  • Cheerleader and football player or coach

  • Sex worker and customer

  • Strangers in a bar

Sensation Play

Like the feeling of an ice cube on your neck? Or hot wax across your chest? These are forms of sensation play in which your senses are engaged in various ways to heighten sexual pleasure. Temperature play is one type of sensation play, but you can also stimulate the other senses. Here are a few examples:

  • Touching. We mentioned ice cubes and wax play, but you can also explore physical sensations like running a vibrator or feather over your erogenous zones.

  • Hearing. Asking your partner to whisper in your ear, making an erotic ASMR playlist, or even wearing earplugs and cutting out all sounds can be exciting ways to play with hearing.

  • Seeing. Keep a mirror nearby so you can watch yourself in action, whether alone or with a partner, or play with blindfolds to experience visual deprivation.

  • Smelling. Incense, essential oils, or scented candles can turn up the heat if you want to play with your sense of smell. For some people, it can also be the body odor or natural body scent of another human being that turns them on.

  • Tasting. Getting sexy (and messy) with food is a whole other kink called sploshing. But you can also wake up your taste buds during sex by licking melted chocolate or honey off your partner’s body or playing with whipped cream.

Tickling

To some, tickling is torture. To others, it’s bliss. You may derive pleasure from being tickled by your partner, tickling them, or even watching someone get tickled. This can also be integrated into BDSM. For example, you can ask your partner to tickle you while you’re restrained.

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Things to Consider

Sex Kinks Are More Common Than You Think

Though studies show that up to 60 percent of people have fantasized about kinky sex, only around 20 to 46 percent have actually acted on their fantasies. Unless you belong to a kink community, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing something taboo if your turn-ons are unconventional.

But here’s the thing: The more you embrace your kinks, the less unconventional they become. Like oral sex, anal sex and masturbation, these sexual practices are now mainstream and frequently referenced in pop culture. Even certain kinks like BDSM or role play are being more widely discussed than ever before.

The Benefits of Kinky Sex

Sexual pleasure is one obvious benefit of kinky sex. But there are so many more.

They include:

  • Enhanced well-being. A 2013 study on BDSM set out to investigate whether the practice was associated with psychopathology or mental illness. The researchers discovered that people who practiced BDSM were less neurotic, more open to new experiences, more extraverted, more conscientious, less sensitive to rejection, and had higher subjective well-being.

  • Increased sexual pleasure. Another study on BDSM found that controlled pain during sex might trigger altered states of consciousness, similar to what happens during mindfulness meditation.

  • Better communication. Engaging in kink play requires you to talk about boundaries, establish consent, and continuously check in on your partner’s needs. This kind of communication can bring you closer to your partner by helping you better express yourself.

  • Healing from trauma. While in no way a replacement for mental healthcare like therapy, a 2021 study suggests that kink play can be one aspect of healing for some people with a history of abuse.

Steps to Take

Get Enthusiastic Consent

Establishing enthusiastic consent is a must before any sexual experience involving a partner, including kink play. Along with consent, you’ll want to talk about boundaries and safe words if you’re planning on engaging in any BDSM acts that may involve pain. When engaging in kink, remember these points:

  • Consent is never implied

  • Consent is never coerced

  • Consent is ongoing

Let Go of Shame

There’s no such thing as “weird kinks.” If you feel ashamed about your kinks, connect with kink communities (in real life, on dating apps, or even in Reddit threads), and you’ll quickly discover others like you.

If you’re still struggling, reach out to a sex-positive mental health professional to discuss your feelings and find strategies to resolve them.

Explore Different Kinks

We shared about a dozen common kinks with you, but there are many more. Spend some time thinking about your turn-ons and do your research to explore them safely and ethically.

If your kink requires sex toys, costumes, or other gear but you’re hesitant to buy them in person, order them online and let the anticipation build while you wait for them to arrive.

Remember to always communicate with your sexual partners before, during, and after kink play. A “yes” to one act doesn’t necessarily mean a “yes” to everything you want to try.

Don’t Forget After-care

After-care refers to the physical or emotional care provided to one or both partners after an intimate or intense experience, such as BDSM play or other forms of kink play. It can help you wind down from the adrenaline rush of the experience and reconnect with your partner. It can also provide a safe space for you to check in on each other’s well-being, especially if there was pain or degradation involved.

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Tips and Strategies

How to Talk About Kinks With Your Partner

Want to explore kink with your partner, but you’re not sure how they’ll respond?

If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, this research may comfort you: Studies show that the level of interest in paraphilia, which is defined as unusual or anomalous sexual interests, including fetishism, masochism, and voyeurism, was not significantly different for men and women. Even more, masochism was significantly linked to higher satisfaction with one's own sexual life.

If you’ve been afraid to share your kinks with your partner, consider that they probably have their own, and maybe even the same ones as you. The only way you’ll find out is by talking about it.

Here are a few ideas to make the conversation run smoothly:

  • Make a yes/no/maybe list to break down what you both are (or are not) willing to try

  • Ask about their sexual fantasies during foreplay

  • Don’t kink-shame their fantasies if they’re different from yours

  • Make sexual communication a regular part of your relationship

Using Sex Toys in Kink Play

Some kinks and fetishes involve sex toys, costumes, and other types of gear.

Consider adding these tools to your bedroom:

  • Whips, paddles, collars, leashes, ropes, muzzles, clamps, and handcuffs for BDSM play

  • A penis vibrator or other types of vibrators, blindfolds, hot wax, feathers, and ticklers for sensory play

  • Costumes for role play

  • Dildos, anal beads, butt plugs, or prostate massagers for anal play (don’t forget lube)

Health and Safety

How to Play Safely

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Get enthusiastic consent from your partner(s) before engaging in any type of kink play. Make sure you have your safe words to stop intense situations at any time and check in with your partner(s) regularly to make sure they’re comfortable.

It’s also easy to get so caught up in an intense experience that you forget some of the most basic health and safety tips, but don’t forgo wearing condoms, making sure to clean your sex toys, and practicing good hygiene before and after sexual experiences.

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What to Do Next

Explore Other Ways to Enhance Your Sex Life

Exploring kink is just one way of expanding your sexuality and enhancing pleasure. Here are some other ways to start thinking outside the box sexually:

Check out our sexual health products for more ways to enhance your sex life, starting today.


5 Sources

  1. Cascalheira CO, et al. (2021). Curative kink: survivors of early abuse transform trauma through BDSM. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681994.2021.1937599
  2. Dunkley CA, et al. (2019). Physical Pain as Pleasure: A Theoretical Perspective. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2019.1605328
  3. Joyal CH, et al. (2017). The Prevalence of Paraphilic Interests and Behaviors in the General Population: A Provincial Survey. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26941021/
  4. William D, et al. (2022). Current biopsychosocial science on understanding kink. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X22001944
  5. Wismeijer AN, et al. (2013). Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jsm.12192
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