Whether it’s your first time having anal sex or you’re a backdoor aficionado, knowing how to prepare for anal is crucial to ensuring you stay safe, healthy, and happy. Beginners may be eager to dive right into the fun, but skipping over prep is an easy way to get injured.
Whether it’s your first time having anal sex or you’re a backdoor aficionado, knowing how to prepare for anal is crucial to ensuring you stay safe, healthy, and happy. Beginners may be eager to dive right into the fun, but skipping over prep is an easy way to get injured.
This guide will walk you through all the ins and outs of how to prep for anal sex, including hygiene tips, strategies to ease into the experience, and certain tools that can help.
Regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, if you’re human, then you have a butt, so this sex act is for you if you want it to be. Keep reading to find out how to make it as enjoyable as possible.
Research has shown that the anus is a highly pleasurable sex organ. Its dense network of sensory nerves works with the genitals in the engorgement, muscular tension, and undulating contractions that guide sexual arousal and orgasm.
Men also have the added anal benefit of being able stimulate the prostate gland, sometimes referred to as the P-spot, a walnut-sized gland that sits under your bladder and above your pelvic floor muscles. Research indicates that pressure on the prostate, anal sphincter, and rectal wall during anal play can induce sexual pleasure and orgasm. In fact, some studies suggest that enemas and digital rectal exams can trigger involuntary erections in some men (though in these cases, the men may not experience related sexual pleasure).
All of this being true, anal sex isn’t for everyone. Some people don’t enjoy anal play compared to other sexual activities, and that is fully acceptable.
The delicate tissues of the rectum make anal sex more risky compared to other types of sex. Because the anus isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina, it can tear more easily through anal play, increasing the risk of pain and infection. “Proper relaxation of the anal sphincters—which can be challenging, especially for people who aren’t used to the sensation—is also key for minimizing both discomfort and the risk of tissue injury,” says Dr. Mike Bohl, a general practitioner and the Director of Medical Content & Authority at Hims & Hers.
Studies show that the rectum is more susceptible than the vagina to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like HIV, partly due to mechanical trauma during intercourse and partly due to the high population of lymphocytes in the GI tract, which are a type of white blood cell that’s part of the immune system, which are crucially a primary cell target for HIV infection.
Other infections that can be transmitted through unprotected anal sex include:
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Hepatitis
HPV
Syphilis
You can lower your risk of infection by always practicing safe sex. That means before you try anal, make sure you stock up on condoms and a high-quality lubricant, and also stay up to date with regular STI testing.
If you’re new to anal, one factor that might be worrying you is making a mess. We won’t lie: It’s a possible outcome (and for what it’s worth, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed about it), but the right prep can put your mind at ease.
One thing you should know before you buy an enema kit is that anal penetration involves the rectum, the tube that connects the anus to the colon. Fecal matter is stored in the colon, not in the rectum, until it’s time to defecate—so that means you’re unlikely to full-on poop on a partner. It also means enema kit is often unnecessary because it pushes water deep into the intestines. You don’t have to go that deep. Using a simple anal douche to clean the immediate area of any feces remnants from recent bowel movements is typically sufficient.
Here’s how to prep for anal sex regarding hygiene:
Eat plenty of fiber the night before. One easy way to minimize the possibility of making a mess is to clean up your diet. Drink plenty of water and increase your fiber intake to ensure regular bowel movements. You can also take a fiber pill.
Deep clean with an anal douche. Anal douching isn’t always necessary. However, if you want to make sure you’re extra clean, you can use an anal douche or bulb enema with warm water a few hours before anal play. Never use cold water, as it can cause cramping and discomfort.
Wash the external area. You also want to clean the external anal area with warm water and mild soap or unscented, hypoallergenic wipes just before play.
Do anal play on a dark towel. If you’re still worried about poop showing up, that’s normal. But you should know that fecal matter is unlikely to appear if you’ve had a bowel movement that day. You can always put a dark towel down first to put your mind at ease.
Use gloves. Some people wear gloves when fingering the anus to keep their hands clean and lower the risk of transferring bacteria. Finger condoms, or finger cots, are another option.
If you’ve never incorporated anal play into your sex life, you may want to explore the area on your own first. This can help you become familiar with the sensations of having something in your anus.
Here’s how to prep for anal penetration on your own:
Lube up. Whether you’re planning on using a finger or a sex toy, lube up to keep things slippery and comfortable.
Lie down. Lie on your back with your legs open and knees bent. Breathe deeply and relax.
Massage the external anal area. Use different motions to stimulate the outer anal area. Make small circles or press lightly down on the anal opening. You may even want to use a mirror to keep track of where you’re touching and what feels good to you.
Insert a lubed finger. Before inserting a finger, ensure your nails are short and smooth. Then, try inserting a finger slowly, taking your time to ease into the experience. Slide your finger in and out, or just get used to the sensation of fullness. You can also twist your finger, curl it, or vibrate slightly.
Use an anal sex toy. Butt plugs, dildos, anal beads, rimming toys, prostate massagers, and vibrators can all help you become accustomed to different sensations in and around the anus. Be sure to use medical-grade silicone toys and keep them clean.
Try different anal training methods. Sex toys can also be used for anal training. Use butt plugs with a flared base and gradually move up in size to stretch the anus and help your anal sphincter become more relaxed.
If you feel ready to let someone else in the backdoor, approach the situation gradually.
Do the following:
Talk about anal before you try it. Whether you’re the top or bottom in the anal scenario, it’s important to talk about expectations beforehand and what you both feel comfortable doing. If one of you isn’t into the idea, then you can discuss why. Never put pressure on anyone or give in to pressure when it comes to your sexual health. Enthusiastic and clear consent is important for any kind of sexual activity.
Use lots of lube. We said it before, and we’ll say it again. Use a high-quality, silicone- or water-based lube to prep the anus for penetration. Keep in mind you should never use oil-based lube with latex condoms because doing so can degrade the material and compromise the condom’s effectiveness.
Get sufficiently aroused through foreplay. Being fully aroused is key to keeping your muscles relaxed. Spend sufficient time on foreplay, using fingers, toys, or other forms of stimulation to make sure you’re primed and ready for penetration.
Breathe deeply and relax. Studies show that deep breathing relaxes the pelvic floor and lowers the risk of painful penetration. Breathing may also help to reduce symptoms of anxiety, which can contribute to tighter muscles and a higher risk of pain.
Try different anal sex positions. Try different sex positions to find the one that feels best for both of you. Doggy style, cowboy/cowgirl, spooning, and lying on your stomach are all great ways to ease into anal.
Stop if you feel pain. If you or your partner feels any pain, back off. You don’t have to rush into anal, and sometimes a long buildup to full penetration makes for a more mind-blowing experience later. It may help to establish a safe word beforehand.
While anal sex prep is important, so is aftercare.
Aftercare is the emotional and/or physical care provided to one or both partners after an intimate experience like anal sex. What you do to express this care is totally up to you, but can include simple gestures like:
Checking in
Taking a warm bath together
Cuddling
Rehydrating
Having a snack
Taking a nap
Aftercare also includes self-care. This can mean cleaning up and tending to any soreness or injuries attained during anal sex. It can also mean cleaning your sex toys so they’re ready to go the next time you play.
As we stated before, your risk of STI contraction is higher when you have anal sex compared to vaginal sex because of the delicate rectal tissues in the anus. With new partners, always use condoms when you’re having anal sex or using a shared sex toy. You can also use dental dams for analingus, aka rimming, or oral-anal sex. Make sure you stay up to date with STI testing as well.
If you have anal fissures, hemorrhoids, or other anal issues that can cause rectal bleeding and pain, it’s best to hold off on any butt play until you fully heal. In the meantime, you may consider using stool softeners and taking regular sitz baths. If any issue persists, seek the care of a healthcare provider.
It’s important to practice good hygiene both before and after anal sex. But it’s especially important to clean up if you’re planning to switch from anal sex to vaginal sex, oral sex, or anal sex with somebody else in order to avoid the spread of bacteria.
If the next step in your sex life is trying anal, here are some immediate considerations:
Know that anal isn’t for everyone. If your partner doesn’t want to try anal, there are plenty of ways to explore butt play on your own through masturbation. Stock up on some anal toys and treat yourself.
Stay safe and hygienic. Wash properly, wear condoms, and use lots of lube. The rectal tissues are super sensitive and more prone to infection.
Anal prep is a process. Anal prep isn’t something you just do once. If you want to incorporate anal play into your sex life regularly, then you’ll have to get used to the preparation process. This includes following a nutrient-rich diet, practicing good anal hygiene, anal training, and more.
Want more tips on how to enhance your sex life? Check out this guide to prostate massagers, learn how to use a vibrator during sex, and explore a range of sexual health products, from condoms and sex toys to medication for erectile dysfunction.
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