How to Stay Sexually Connected in a Long-Distance Relationship

Sexual Intimacy in Long-Distance Relationships

From long-distance sex toys to sexting and sending romantic love letters, there are many creative ways to maintain sexual intimacy when you and your partner are miles apart.

In this guide, you’ll learn about a number of those sexy strategies for long-distance couples, including:

• Long-distance sex toys and wearables

• Sexting

• Phone sex

• Intimate FaceTime and video chats

• Old-fashioned love letters

We’ll also discuss ways to stay emotionally connected with your partner and why maintaining intimacy is important — regardless of where you are geographically located.

Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Does distance make the heart grow fonder or more frustrated, sexually speaking?

A lack of physical intimacy is one of the most obvious and difficult challenges of a long-distance relationship. But every relationship has its own unique challenges. In fact, some research shows few differences between long-distance couples and geographically close couples.

All to say, long-distance relationships can and do work—and prioritizing non-physical connection and regular communication is key to helping to ensure that’s the case. One 2006 study found that one-third of long-distance couples break up within three months of reuniting due to loss of autonomy, problems with time management, and increased conflict. The researchers also pointed out that long-distance couples tend to idealize each other while apart, and such feelings may dissipate (and disappoint) upon reunion. Individuals who broke up after reuniting were more likely to report that they noticed negative characteristics in their partners they hadn’t seen before meeting back up.

However, these findings shouldn’t stop you from working toward a shared future with a long-distance partner. Instead, they should underscore the importance of getting to know your person while apart through intentional, regular, and open communication.

Why Intimacy Matters in a Long-Distance Relationship

Both physical and emotional intimacy are vital to any romantic relationship. While cohabiting couples can nurture shared intimacy through physical affection and daily experiences, long-distance couples may need to get a little more creative.

According to a small 2015 study of 19 long-distance couples, one type of intimacy that can sustain the relationship dynamic is “imagined" intimacy. The authors state that couples who are apart can use their imagination to maintain intimacy when physical affection and shared daily experiences are impossible. For instance, regularly checking in to ask about your partner’s day can help you fill in the blanks of their daily life. Exchanging photos and video calls can help you better visualize what it would be like to be together, in the same place, which can then paint a picture of how a shared future might look.

Keep reading to learn creative tips for maintaining intimacy with your long-distance partner, thanks to the help of technology and a little imagination.

Communicate Regularly

If you’re in a committed long-distance relationship, you’ll also want to ensure you’re emotionally connected. By communicating regularly and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you’re investing in a stronger future.

Go on Long-Distance Dates

Phone calls and video chats don’t always have to be solely focused on sex. Make time for ordinary hangouts, like ordering takeout and having dinner together or watching a movie. If you’re in opposite time zones, it can also be fun to pair your morning coffee with their nightcap.

Plan Visits

To maintain in-person affection and intimacy, try to plan meetups as often as possible. Doing so provides something to look forward to when loneliness starts to creep in. Sort out your schedules, make lists of things you want to do together, and start counting down the days.

Share Schedules

Making time for that phone call or video chat can be difficult when you’re on opposite schedules, but it’s not impossible. Get to know your partner’s schedule and display it somewhere accessible. It can also be helpful to use a world clock widget or app to keep track of your time difference. Then, pick times that work for both of you, and set reminders so you don’t miss a date.

Set Ground Rules

Trust and transparency are essential in every relationship, but not all relationships are alike. Setting some ground rules allows you to be on the same page in a way that works best for both of you. This can include:

• How often do you talk/text?

• What’s the maximum amount of time between visits?

• How will you manage the costs of the visits?

• How long will the relationship function long-distance?

• Will you remain monogamous while apart?

Have Shared Goals

Research has found that couples with similar relationship goals may be more satisfied and better at solving problems together.

In a long-distance relationship, your days may look wildly different from your partner’s because you’re not in the same place. Even so, it's important to have a shared vision for the future and goals that you can work toward as a couple.

Practice Self-Care

Long-distance relationships can be challenging, and you may sometimes feel lonely and fed up with your situation. Be sure to practice self-care and use your time apart to focus on your interests, friends, and work. You may find yourself getting caught up thinking about the future, but don’t forget to make the most of right now.

Next Steps

Maintaining sexual and emotional intimacy is important in any relationship, including long-distance ones. If you need more support to help your relationship thrive, remember:

• Maintaining intimacy in long-distance relationships requires creativity. Make the most of tech and tools—like sex toys, sexting, phone sex, and video chats—to stay connected.

• Regular communication is key. Be emotionally vulnerable, and plan regular visits to maintain emotional and physical connection with your partner.

• Take care of yourself. Long-distance relationships can be fulfilling and successful but also require work. Make sure to prioritize your own well-being within the framework of your long-distance relationship.

Want even more ideas on how to spice up your long-distance relationship? Get tips on how to be a sexually confident man; try your hand at mindful masturbation; and explore a range of sexual health products, from sex toys and condoms to medication for sexual dysfunction.

Long-Distance Sex Toys and Wearables

There are a variety of long-distance toys for couples that are Bluetooth- and Wi-Fi-enabled, allowing one partner to control the toy (and, by proxy, the other partner’s orgasms) from a distance, either through an app or a remote control.

Here’s a rundown of the best types of long-distance sex toys:

• Remote control vibrators. From wand massagers to clitoral vibrators and beyond, there are many app-controlled vibrators on the market that cater to both local and long-distance play. These vibrators can be paired with a smartphone, enabling a physically far-away partner to control vibration settings and intensity levels in real-time, adding surprise and a sense of closeness even when far apart. You can also opt for a remote sex toy, like the discreet OMG Ring Penis Vibrator or Thrill Ride Prostate Massager for hands-free fun. Though these toys need to be in close range to their remote control to work, they can still be enjoyed during steamy video chats or phone sex.

• Couples' vibrators with dual stimulation. Some remote sex toys also feature two-way functionality, meaning both partners can feel sensations simultaneously. This creates an interactive and immersive experience that may help you feel more closely connected.

• Panty vibrator. A panty vibrator is a wearable vibrator placed inside the underwear to stimulate the clitoris. Most remote-controlled panty vibrators have a magnetic attachment to keep them in place. They are controlled by an app from anywhere.

• Interactive male masturbators and cock rings. Male masturbators, or strokers, are worn on the penis and have vibration modes that simulate the experience of being stroked by your partner. Some can even be connected to interactive porn for more immersive solo play. Some male masturbators can also be connected to app-controlled rabbit vibrators for dual penile and clitoral stimulation. Cock rings help you have longer-lasting, harder erections by trapping blood in the shaft of your penis. App-controlled cock rings allow your partner to control the ring during play.

• Insertable vibrating dildos and butt plugs. Egg vibrators, G-spot vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs are insertable vibrators that enable the sensation of being penetrated by your partner. Opt for one made of silicone if you want something soft and . Don’t forget the when using an insertable sex toy.