If you have trouble sitting in mindful meditation for more than one minute, bringing masturbation to the experience is a killer hack.
If you have trouble sitting in mindful meditation for more than one minute, bringing masturbation to the experience is a killer hack.
Mindful masturbation is the practice of self-pleasuring while paying close attention to the present moment and the sensations you’re feeling. It’s different from a masturbation session you might rush through on auto-pilot or complement with porn or other distractions.
In this guide, we’ll discuss the benefits of a mindful masturbation practice, how you can perform this act of self-care, and how it might benefit your sexual partners.
To understand the benefits of mindful masturbation, you have to know a little about mindfulness meditation. This practice involves focusing on the present moment — not the future or the past — without judgment.
Over time, the more you practice, the more awareness you bring to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
Contrary to what most people think about meditation, you don’t have to be seated in a lotus position with your eyes closed to practice mindfulness. You can bring this focus to everyday activities, whether you’re stretching out in yoga class, taking a walk outside, or brushing your teeth.
Studies show mindfulness meditation practice may have the following benefits:
Reduced stress and anxiety
Lower blood pressure
Improved sleep quality
Decreased pain
How do those benefits carry over into your sex life? Keep reading to find out how mindful masturbation (sometimes called meditation masturbation) can lead to increased body awareness, less performance anxiety, and reduced stress.
Practicing mindful masturbation is all about tuning into your body and paying close attention. Instead of stressing about your performance in bed or viewing sex as a set of mechanical actions, mindful masturbation allows you to discover what feels good to you without judgment.
Studies show that easy access to porn leads many people, especially youth, to be influenced by what they see on the screen. They think sex should look and sound a certain way, and therefore, sex becomes performative. Bringing mindfulness to masturbation and/or sex is a way to reconnect to your “authentic sexual self.”
Once you have a better idea of what you find pleasurable during solo sex, you can communicate these self-love preferences to your sexual partners for more intimate and fulfilling sex.
Sexual performance anxiety is the inability to get or keep an erection due to anxiety about your performance. It can lead to a number of issues in bed, like premature ejaculation (PE) and erectile dysfunction (ED).
Mindful masturbation gets you out of your head and into your body. It can help you become more aware of the pleasurable sensations preceding ejaculation so you can practice and eventually master self-control.
You’ll also be more in-tune with areas of your body where you’re holding tension, which could be messing with your erections.
You already know mindfulness meditation reduces stress. Well, so does masturbation (thanks to “feel-good chemicals” released in the brain). When you combine the two, you have a powerful support system for your mental health.
Lowering stress can have broader implications on whole-body health. It can help you sleep better, increase your energy, improve your mood, control your weight, and lower your risk of heart disease, obesity, hypertension (high blood pressure), and depression.
Having a better idea of what you find pleasurable and being less consumed with stressful thoughts and worries may eventually lead to a happy finale — which is to say, more intense orgasms.
Many sex therapists believe sexual dysfunctions are linked to anxiety, distractions, inhibitions (like drinking alcohol), and a lack of attention to sexual stimuli (things that turn you on). Using mindfulness is a way to break through these barriers and have better sex.
A review of studies revealed that mindfulness can improve erectile function, sexual desire, arousal, and relationship satisfaction.
One 2020 study found that couples who practiced “sexual mindfulness” were able to slow down, pay closer attention to their own sexual experience, communicate more effectively, and address their thoughts and feelings with their partner in an open and accepting way.
While you may think your masturbation meditation sessions have nothing to do with partnered sex, you’re wrong. Aside from potentially improving sexual function, mindful masturbation can teach you what feels good so you can communicate that more effectively to your partner.
Mindful masturbation can also train you to be more present — so you’re more present to your partner in and out of the bedroom.
How can you get in on the action? Follow these steps to practice mindful masturbation.
Your hands are among the most bacteria-laden parts of your body. Be sure to wash them well with warm, soapy water before touching your genitals. Not doing so can lead to infections or penis irritation.
Using sex toys? Be sure to clean your toys properly before and after each use.
Focusing on your sexual pleasure is much easier when there aren’t too many distractions around. Turn off the TV (including porn!) and make sure the temperature is just right so you can masturbate in comfort.
If you typically relax with music, you may want to make a playlist beforehand of sexy (but chill) songs to help you get in the mood.
When you practice mindful masturbation, try not to be too concerned with reaching the finish line. Focus on the moment as if you’re experiencing these sensations for the first time.
If your mind wanders, bring it back to the present and focus on what you feel physically and emotionally. Be sure to explore other sensual areas beyond your genitals and take your time.
Mindfulness meditation beginners rarely get it right the first time. The more you practice, the more you’ll learn about your body. As you explore, try these strategies to make the most of your masturbation experience.
Masturbating in front of a mirror can help you stay present because you have more stimuli to pin your attention to. Instead of just thinking about what you’re feeling, you can focus on what you look like as you feel those sensations.
Do you usually masturbate the same way to the same fantasies to reach orgasm? Try switching things up. Give yourself permission to try new masturbation techniques like:
Masturbating with your non-dominant hand
Using a vibrator or prostate massager
Trying a new sex position
Switching up your stroking speed or grip
See what feels good and what works for you.
Your penis gets most of the fanfare when it comes to masturbating, but there are numerous hotspots all over your entire body. They’re called your erogenous zones.
The next time you’re masturbating, give some attention to new areas like your:
Inner thighs
Scrotum
Perineum
Nipples
Belly button
If you find something that feels surprisingly good, make a mental note to share it with a partner in the future.
Masturbation is probably the safest sex you can have — but not if you neglect your personal hygiene.
As we said before, wash your hands before touching your most sensitive body parts to avoid introducing bacteria. Do the same if you’re using a sex toy.
Lube doesn’t just feel good — it can also help you avoid friction burn on your penis if you’re masturbating a lot. Use a water-based lube when self-pleasuring to keep things comfortable, especially if you plan on using any penetrating toys.
Though the research linking mindfulness to improved sexual function is promising, more studies are needed. If you want to improve your erections, you should know other proven treatments are available.
Premature ejaculation treatments include prescription medication, therapy, and climax delay wipes that help reduce sensitivity for longer-lasting sex.
Erectile dysfunction treatments include prescription medication like tadalafil (Cialis®), sildenafil (Viagra®), and Stendra® (avanafil), as well as therapy and lifestyle changes.
Reach out to a healthcare provider today to get a recommendation.
Before you write mindful masturbation off as some new-agey gimmick, give it a try. Curious about other ways to enhance your sex life? You can:
Read up on sex positivity
Explore these surprising penis facts
Find out if men can have multiple orgasms
Once you develop a mindful masturbation practice, indulge regularly. Think of mindfulness as a muscle that can be strengthened with practice. The more you train your mind to be present, the easier it’ll become.
In fact, brain imaging studies show that mindfulness changes neural pathways in the brain. The point is, mindful masturbation is really a win-win-win.
Hims & Hers has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references. See a mistake? Let us know at [email protected]!