How to Have Sex With ED: 7 Tips & Techniques

How to Have Sex With ED

When you have erectile dysfunction (ED), it can feel like your sex life is doomed. But, as you’ll see in this guide, having sex with ED is possible, and treatment options are available.

If you’re unable to get a full erection or maintain one long enough for satisfying sex, it might be wise to explore prescription medication and lifestyle changes to improve your erections. You can also try techniques that allow you to pleasure your partner in ways that don’t rely on an erection.

Below, you’ll find tactics like:

• Being open with your partner

• Talking to a therapist

• Trying ED treatments

• Using sex toys

• Mastering foreplay

• Exploring other erogenous zones

• Making healthy lifestyle changes

You’ll also learn how other medical conditions contribute to ED, so you can rule out these possibilities with your provider.

ED is Common

Erectile dysfunction is one of the most common men’s health issues, affecting an estimated 30 million men in the U.S.

While ED is not considered a “normal” part of aging, older men have a higher risk of ED. Research shows that aging increases the risk of ED from 1.2 percent per year for men aged 40-49 to 4.6 percent for men 60-69 years old.

If You Have Erectile Dysfunction, Can You Still Get Hard?

Before you lose hope, know this: Having ED doesn’t automatically mean your erections are gone for good. Some men with erectile dysfunction can still get hard, but their erection quality diminishes over time, or they can’t maintain their erections long enough for a satisfying sexual experience.

Having ED doesn’t mean you can’t ejaculate or have an orgasm. It just means that your erections aren’t reliable, sustainable, or as hard as you’d like them to be.

Can a Man With Erectile Dysfunction Satisfy a Woman?

Yes, men who have erectile difficulties can learn how to have sex with ED and satisfy their partners. They may just need to get creative and have sex in different ways or explore the many causes of erectile dysfunction and decide on an appropriate ED treatment option.

Erectile dysfunction is when you can’t get or keep an erection suitable enough for satisfactory sex. That means your penis may not be hard enough to penetrate your partner — or you might be able to start having sex but go soft midway through.

Losing erections during sex or not being able to start in the first place can be distressing for both you and your partner. But that doesn’t mean sex is off the table completely.

How to Have Sex With ED

With these steps, you can keep your sex life going — even if you have ED. Some of our suggestions will help you continue having sex with erection problems, while others aim to address your ED and improve sexual function overall.

Be Open With Your Partner

We know, we know. Talking to your partner about ED can feel as embarrassing as ED itself. But having an honest chat about what’s going on can improve sexual dysfunction symptoms.

For one, stress and anxiety can make ED worse — and you’re probably feeling stressed and anxious about your ED. Talking with your partner can take some of the pressure off.

It can feel embarrassing when a guy can’t get hard. But if you’re in a long-term relationship, your partner will be more receptive if you’re willing to get vulnerable.

In fact, they may be thinking that they are the reason you can’t get hard. This is your opportunity to set the record straight. You can reassure your significant other that it’s not about them, and then discuss ways to tackle the problem together. Turn it into a fun couple’s activity — maybe by browsing for new sex toys or trying new types of sex — to keep your sex life light and exciting.

For more advice, check out our guide to dealing with ED in a relationship.

Talk to a Therapist

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by psychological or emotional issues like:

• Fear of sexual failure or sexual performance anxiety

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Guilt about sexual performance or certain activities

• Low self-esteem

• Stress

It’s a bit of a vicious cycle: ED can cause some of these problems — hello, stress, and sexual performance anxiety. But these problems can also make ED worse.

Talking to a therapist, either in person or online, can help. A therapist can talk through any mental health and well-being issues you might be struggling with and suggest helpful techniques or medication like antidepressants if needed.

You can also try sex therapy. A sex therapist can help you work through any sexual health issues that could be behind ED.

Learn more about psychological ED.

Try ED Treatments

Most of the time, ED can be treated, and several treatment options are available. No, we’re not talking about the herbal “supplements” sold in gas stations and sex shops. (You definitely want to avoid those.)

Phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors — or PDE5 inhibitors — are a first-line treatment for ED. They work by increasing blood flow to your penis, helping you stay harder for longer.

FDA-approved PDE5 inhibitors include:

• Sildenafil (generic for Viagra®)

• Tadalafil (generic for Cialis®)

• Avanafil (generic for Stendra®)

• Vardenafil (generic for Levitra®)

Learn more about each of these options in our guide to PDE5 inhibitors.

We also offer access to erectile dysfunction medication in the form of chewable hard mints. These ED meds contain the active ingredients in the drugs Cialis and Viagra at different dosages.

You’ll need a prescription for ED medications, so speak to your primary care provider or a urologist. To skip the awkward IRL chat, consider an online consultation with a licensed healthcare professional.

Aside from pills, another medication for ED is alprostadil, which is an FDA-approved injectable medication. There is also a recently FDA-authorized, non-medicated topical gel for ED called Eroxon®. Another option is to get a vacuum erection device, which is placed over your penis and then pumped to draw blood to the area.

There are also surgical treatments for erectile dysfunction, like penile implants, but these are usually reserved for those who can’t take or don’t react well to ED drugs.

Use Sex Toys

You may have seen the bold claims online: Sex toys can cure ED!

They may not be that powerful — more research is definitely needed — but they can certainly help spice up your sex life if ED has put the fire out.

Here are some options to consider:

• Penis sleeves. Penis sleeves are hollow sleeves you put on your penis during sex. They come in different shapes and sizes, and many feature added textural features like ribs. There’s not much research on these, but anecdotally, they’ve been shown to recreate the sensory experience of having penetrative sex, even if your penis isn’t doing the penetrating.

• Penis rings. If you’ve never used a sex toy before, penis rings — also popularly known as “cock rings” — may be the most beginner-friendly. Penis rings are ring-shaped devices worn at the base of the penis during sex. The ring helps keep blood inside the penis, which can help men with ED stay hard. Check out our Standing O penis rings.

• Penis vibrators. Vibrators aren’t just for the ladies — they might help stimulate a man with erectile dysfunction. One review concluded that penile vibratory stimulation may improve erectile function in men with ED. Another paper indicated that penis vibrators could help men with ED get an erection, but more research is needed. Check out the OMG Ring penis vibrator to do your own research on the matter.

• Prostate massagers. Prostate massagers do exactly what their name implies: massage the prostate. There’s not much research into whether they can help you get hard, but they can provide an alternative place to explore, either solo or with a partner. Check out our Thrill Ride prostate massager.

• Bullet vibrators. Got a female partner? Show her some love. Bullet vibrators are small vibrators designed for external use. Vibrator use has been linked to higher sexual desire in both men and women, and it may help people with anorgasmia (trouble reaching orgasm). Using a bullet as backup is just one way a man with erectile dysfunction can satisfy a woman.

Learn more in our guide to sex toys for ED.

Master Foreplay

If penetrative sex is proving tricky, focus on your foreplay game. Foreplay is anything before the “main event” of sexual intercourse. It can include sending flirty texts throughout the day, making out on the sofa before moving to the bedroom, nipple play, caressing, massaging, mutual masturbation, and oral sex.

But really, there are no rules when it comes to foreplay — now’s the time to get creative with your partner.

Foreplay can make you aroused and help you keep a firm erection during sex. It can also be a prominent part of your sexual activity — not something you rush through.

If you struggle with penetration or staying hard long enough, you can still enjoy sex with erectile dysfunction by spending more time on foreplay.

There’s even research suggesting that giving oral sex is linked to a better relationship.

A 2018 study found that older heterosexual couples with better relationship quality gave their partner oral sex more often than those with worse relationship quality. The link was there for both men and women, but it was stronger for men.

The lesson? Going down on your partner may improve your relationship — and you don’t need an erection for that.

Not sure what to do? Here are some foreplay ideas to get you started.

Consider Other Erogenous Zones

When your penis isn’t playing ball, there are other erogenous zones to explore. Don’t neglect your neck, earlobes, nipples, testes, perineum, and prostate.

Spice up your sex life by stimulating these areas with toys or your partner’s hands or mouth — or even with different sex positions for ED.

Remember to return the favor and explore your partner's erogenous zones, too.

Not feeling it? Check out our guide on how to get turned on for a sex drive boost.

Create Healthy Lifestyle Habits

ED can be caused by an unhealthy lifestyle — or the health problems caused by an unhealthy lifestyle. In any case, bad habits can make the problem harder to fix.

The good news is that a few lifestyle adjustments might help you get hard.

Try working on addressing these common causes of ED:

• Quitting smoking

• Cutting down on alcohol

• Quitting drugs

• Losing weight if you’re overweight

• Exercising

• Reducing cholesterol

• Eating a healthy diet (add these foods for virility to your grocery list)

For more advice, check out our guide on how to maintain an erection.

Rule Out Medical Issues

Consider speaking to a healthcare provider to get tested for underlying medical conditions that are risk factors for ED. These health conditions may include type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, low testosterone, spinal cord injuries, atherosclerosis, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and heart disease.

A medical professional can also advise you on whether ED is a side effect of any medication you’re taking or treatment you’re undergoing, like those for prostate cancer or kidney disease.

Next Steps on Enjoying Sex With ED

Not only can you have sex with erectile dysfunction, you can have great sex. So don’t give up on your love life just because erections aren’t as easy to come by these days.

Here are the key things to keep in mind:

• Start with an honest chat. Talk to your partner about ED. Awkward? Maybe. Helpful? Absolutely. Take the pressure off and discuss ways to tackle the problem together.

• Try mixing up your sex life. Experiment with different sex positions with ED, new toys and erogenous zones, extended foreplay, and more oral sex — your partner can thank us later.

• Remember, ED is treatable. ED treatments like Viagra, Cialis, and sex therapy can help you get and maintain an erection.

ED isn’t a death sentence for your love life. Explore more erectile dysfunction treatments to get the help you need.