Dating in Your 50s

Written byErica Garza
Published 01/27/2025

Dating in your 50s might feel strange if you’ve been out of the game for a while, but you’re far from alone if you’re entering (or re-entering) the dating pool over 50.

Overview

Dating in Your 50s

Dating in your 50s might feel strange if you’ve been out of the game for a while, but you’re far from alone if you’re entering (or re-entering) the dating pool over 50. While setting up a dating profile for the first time as a 50-year-old man may be unfamiliar territory, rest assured that your age could actually be an asset.

According to a 2018 study on online dating, men’s desirability increases with age and peaks at age 50, making this the prime time to attract a mate. If you’ve spent a good portion of your younger years pursuing education and career goals, even better. Along with physical attractiveness and higher income, men’s desirability correlates with their education level, so if you’ve got an advanced degree, consider yourself a catch in today’s dating scene.

This guide will cover everything you need to know about dating in your 50s, including the benefits of dating at an older age, the challenges you might face, and tips to help you meet your ideal match.

How Common Is Dating in Your 50s?

While in the past, most people got married in their 20s, these days, more people than ever are getting married in their midlife. According to one study, between 1990 and 2019, the number of people getting married for the first time between ages 40 and 59 has quadrupled.

Why are people settling down later in life? One reason is that many people see economic stability as a prerequisite for marriage, so they wait until they’ve completed their education, met certain career goals, minimized their debt, and achieved financial security.

Whether you want to get married in the future or you’re uninterested in ever (or ever again) tying the knot, the great thing about dating in your 50s is having a better sense of what you want and don’t want. This is just one benefit of many to keep in mind as you navigate new dating experiences.

The Basics

The Benefits of Dating in Your 50s as a Man

Along with being more desirable and perhaps more financially secure, there are many benefits of dating as a man in your 50s.

Here are just a few of the highlights:

  • You’re more self-aware. By age 50, you have a pretty good idea of what you want in a relationship—and what you won’t stand for. This makes it easier to narrow down your search for the right match.

  • You have more self-confidence. Having more self-awareness may also mean more confidence. In fact, some research suggests that men experience a steady rise in self-confidence until their early 40s, have a brief mid-life dip, and then see their confidence rise again in their 50s.

  • A new start can be invigorating. If you’ve come out of a long-term relationship or marriage, it can feel exciting and invigorating to start a fresh start with someone new.

You have more time. The pressures of climbing the career ladder or raising a young family may be behind you, giving you more time (and maybe more disposable income) to relax, travel, or explore what makes you feel good. Do keep in mind, though, that if you’re dating someone younger, they may have different priorities, including a family. This is why it’s so important to know what you want before you start swiping right.

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Things to Consider

How Difficult Is Dating in Your 50s?

While there are so many advantages to dating as a wiser, older person, there will also be challenges. This is especially true if you’re reentering the dating game after many years.

Here are some things to consider as a single man in your 50s:

  • The dating world has moved online

  • The dating pool may feel smaller

  • You may be resistant to change

The Dating World Has Moved Online

Bumble, Tinder, Match, eHarmony, Grindr, Feeld — it can be difficult to navigate the myriad dating sites out there. Choosing one and crafting your profile can feel overwhelming, but online dating is nearly unavoidable today.

According to a Pew Research Center study, 23 percent of 50-year-olds have used online dating apps, and they tend to gravitate towards sites like Match, OKCupid, and Bumble. Around half of adults 50 and older who have dated online in the past year said their main reasons were to find a long-term partner or spouse.

Some tips to help you succeed:

  • Use multiple dating platforms. Using different dating websites increases your chances of finding a good match. It’s helpful to investigate each app first, though, to see if it’s a right fit for you. Some apps are more conducive to hooking up, and others for serious relationships.

  • Don’t limit yourself to official dating apps. You can also find dates by doing the things you enjoy. For instance, the Meetup website isn’t a dating app, but it can still be a low-pressure way to meet new people with similar interests

  • Don’t expect a phone call. You may still exchange phone numbers with potential dates, but you should know that many dates prefer flirty texts in lieu of phone calls. You may also get a follow on social media, so making sure your social media accounts represent how you want potential dates to perceive you may be a good idea.

Matching with someone online is convenient. You can see if there’s any chemistry by exchanging a few flirty messages before meeting in real life. After all, life’s too busy for a bad date.

The Dating Pool May Feel Smaller

The dating pool may feel smaller now that you're in your 50s. But this doesn’t mean that there are no viable options for you.

In part, the dating pool may feel smaller because you’re more selective. In your 20s and 30s, you may have been more willing to ignore red flags or focus on superficial traits. With a clearer understanding of what you want, you’re less likely to date people you have little in common with.

You May Be Resistant to Change

By age 50, you probably have a solid daily routine and a preferred way of doing things. Getting into a new relationship with someone equally set in their ways can throw things off balance. Both of you will need to be willing to embrace change and compromise, which gets harder as you get older.

Steps to Take

Dating Over 50: Steps to Take

It’s natural to feel a little nervous when you’re getting back out there, but don’t let nerves hold you back. If you find the current dating landscape daunting, we recommend the following steps to help you date strategically:

  • Be sure you’re ready

  • Know what you want

  • Figure out your dealbreakers

  • Set up an online dating profile

  • Be proactive

Be Sure You’re Ready

If you’ve just come out of a long relationship or marriage, it’s tempting to want to dive right into a new relationship. Give yourself time. Have you done the necessary emotional work to be in a healthy relationship? Does the pain of failed past relationships still haunt you? Do you need to let go of some baggage? Working with a trained therapist can help you work through any issues that might sabotage your relationships in the future.

Know What You Want

Consider making a detailed list of your ideal partner’s qualities. This can be helpful if you’re having trouble determining what kind of relationship you’re seeking and what type of person would make you happiest.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself:

  • Do you see yourself getting married in the future? Or do you prefer something casual?

  • Do you want to have kids? Do you want to date someone with kids?

  • If things get serious, would you move in with someone? Would you want someone to move in with you?

  • What kind of experiences do you hope to share with a partner?

Asking yourself some tough questions and visualizing your ideal relationship before getting out and meeting people will help you find a compatible partner.

Figure Out Your Dealbreakers

Knowing what you don’t want in a partner is as important as knowing what you do want. Could you date someone who smokes? How about someone with kids?

While you should be aware of your dealbreakers, don’t be too rigid, either. For instance, you may only be willing to date within a narrow age range or with a specific body type. If you’re waiting around for someone who checks every single box on your list, you’re likely to miss out on some potentially great connections.

Set Up an Online Dating Profile

Set up your online dating profile(s) with an authentic bio and flattering pictures. List your likes and dislikes and clearly state what you’re looking for, but resist the urge to divulge too much.

You should also familiarize yourself with the lingo and etiquette of contemporary dating. How do you know if you’re ready for an LTR if you don’t know what LTR means? When you’re not into someone, simply tell them you’re looking for something else instead of ghosting them.

What if you get ghosted? Let it go and move on. Dating apps allow you to cast a wide net, but this can also mean dealing with rejection now and then. Try not to take it personally.

Be Proactive

Dating shouldn’t take up all your time and energy, but it does require some persistence and effort, at any age. Make a habit out of checking your dating apps, and don’t wait too long to message your matches. If you’re heterosexual and using the app Bumble, keep in mind that it’s up to the woman to make the first move.

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Tips and Strategies

Consider Matchmaking Services

Matchmaking services still exist, and they may be worthwhile if you’re having difficulty finding compatible matches or are simply too busy to pursue dates proactively. They’ll do the heavy lifting for you, including searching for dates, vetting their compatibility, and organizing the meetings in a safe and hassle-free way. Matchmakers can be pricey but worth the investment if you’re finding apps or in-person introductions challenging.

Improve Your Self-Confidence

If you’re not feeling desirable and you’re struggling with your self-esteem, you may need to make a few tweaks to your lifestyle to rebuild your confidence.

Try the following:

  • Work with a dating coach or relationship expert for personalized advice

  • Stay active

  • Clean up your diet and cut back on alcohol

  • Quit smoking

  • Consider hair loss medications if you’re balding

  • Challenge negative self-talk

  • Invest in your friendships

  • Learn a new skill

  • If you’d like to lose weight, consider weight loss medication

  • Celebrate your wins

Get Help for Sex Issues

Sexual dysfunction affects men of all ages, but age is an independent risk factor for erectile dysfunction (ED). Research shows that by the time a man reaches age 50, his likelihood of experiencing ED increases significantly compared to men in the 18-29 age group, with some studies suggesting a 20-fold increase in risk.

Other sexual dysfunctions, like low libido, can also increase with age, likely the result of low testosterone, which becomes more prevalent as you get older.

And some research shows that premature ejaculation can occur alongside erectile dysfunction, especially among men aged 45 to 65.

If you’re experiencing sexual dysfunction, it’s time to take action. Schedule a consultation with a healthcare provider to find solutions. For erectile dysfunction, they may prescribe ED medication like Viagra® (sildenafil), Cialis® (tadalafil), Stendra® (avanafil), or something more discrete like chewable ED mints.

Treatments for premature ejaculation also include prescription medication or non-prescription products that desensitize your penis to have longer-lasting sex. For even more support, they may also suggest therapy or a combination of lifestyle changes that can help you have the sex life you deserve.

Be Upfront About Exes and Kids

One easy way to let partners know you have kids from a previous relationship or that you’ve been married before is to put it in your dating profile. This helps you attract dates that are open to meeting you where you are in life.

Have Fun

Try to keep the first date light, casual, and fun. While your ultimate goal may be to find “the one,” try not to rush into anything. Hold off on having serious conversations about what you want in the future or what fell apart in your last relationships until you’re several dates in.

Health and Safety

Practice Safe Sex

Safe sex is important at any age. But if you’re recently divorced or just came out of a long relationship, it can be awkward buying condoms again. Consider purchasing them online if you’d rather avoid your local pharmacy.

You should also plan on getting tested for STIs regularly and have conversations with new partners about their last test. You may even notice potential dates posting their last STI test date on their online dating profiles.

Beware of Romance Scams

According to the Pew Research Center survey we mentioned above, online daters ages 50 to 64 were more likely than those 65 and older to have been victims of romance scams. In romance scams, a person uses a fake online identity to gain a victim’s trust and then steals from them by asking for personal information or presenting crypto opportunities and investment schemes.

In addition to romance scams, more than four in ten online daters ages 50 and over reported unwanted behaviors like receiving unsolicited explicit content, being called offensive names, or being violently threatened by their matches.

Be cautious about the personal information you share, and don’t be afraid to block people who are harassing you or making you feel uncomfortable.

Get Clear Consent

In recent years, there have been many evolving conversations about sexual consent and sexual communication in general. Before engaging in sexual activity, be sure you get clear consent and pay attention to body language to ensure you’re both on the same page. Before you even get to the bedroom, have open conversations about your boundaries and what you’re both comfortable doing.

Getting consent doesn’t have to be robotic. If you need some tips on what to say, check out this guide on how to ask for sex.

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What to Do Next

Dating After 50: Next Steps

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem or anxiety around dating, consider seeing a mental health professional or relationship expert to get the support you need. Schedule a consultation with a healthcare provider if you think you need help with a sexual dysfunction.

Here are some takeaways to send you on your way:

  • Dating over 50 isn’t unusual. People are settling down later and later in life. In fact, the number of people getting married for the first time between ages 40 and 59 has quadrupled in recent years.

  • There are many benefits to dating at 50. You have a clearer idea of what you want and likely more economic stability. Some research also shows that desirability in men peaks at age 50.

  • Don’t resist change. Change gets harder the older you get, but it keeps you in a growth mindset. Be flexible and open to new life experiences, and you’ll meet people with similar goals.

  • Address issues holding you back. If you’re experiencing ED, low libido, or even thinning hair, there are solutions available. Reach out to a healthcare provider to rebuild your confidence.

If you need more tips on dating in your 50s, check out this guide to looking younger, find out how to protect your erection, and learn nine techniques to make sex better for her.

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6 Sources

  1. Brown SU, et al. (2022). The Rising Midlife First Marriage Rate in the U.S. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9616076/
  2. Bruch EL, et al. (2018). Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets. https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aap9815
  3. Crowdis ME, et al. (2023). Premature Ejaculation. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK546701/
  4. Mulhall JO, et al. (2016). Relationship between age and erectile dysfunction diagnosis or treatment using real-world observational data in the United States. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5540144/
  5. Pew Research Center. (2023). Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/07/17/dating-at-50-and-up-older-americans-experiences-with-online-dating/
  6. Zenger JA, et al. (2016). How Age and Gender Affect Self-Improvement. https://hbr.org/2016/01/how-age-and-gender-affect-self-improvement
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