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Your sex life, your way
The meaning of sex positivity varies depending on who you ask. But it generally refers to having open, respectful, non-judgmental attitudes toward sexuality and sexual relationships. Being sex-positive means you view sexuality as a natural and healthy part of life.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), sexual health isn’t just fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals. It’s equally vital to the “social and economic development of communities and countries.”
Ahead, we’ll explore what sex positivity means for individuals and couples, what being sex-positive looks like in action, and how sex positivity differs from sex negativity.
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Sex positivity is a framework that encourages individuals to explore their sexual desires and identities without shame or judgment. It aims to promote informed and consensual sexual experiences.
Practicing sex positivity involves educating yourself about sexual health, communicating openly with partners about desires and boundaries, and respecting the choices and sexual experiences of others.
It also includes challenging societal stigmas and taboos around sex, supporting comprehensive sex education, and advocating for sexual rights and freedoms.
You may think of the hippie counterculture movement of the ‘60s when you hear terms like “free love” or “sexual liberation.” However, the sex-positivity movement is linked to a much earlier figure, Wilhelm Reich. This guy was an Austrian psychoanalyst who promoted sexual activism in the early part of the 20th century.
Reich believed many illnesses could be attributed to sexual repression. He also argued that because the working class had little access to sex education and sexual health services, they had a higher risk of economic hardship due to things like unplanned pregnancies, unsafe abortions, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Reich argued that when people were weighed down by poverty and lack of resources, they weren’t free to experience sexual liberty and enjoyment. This hurt people, and it hurt society.
To counter sexual repression and support the working class, Reich helped establish clinics in Europe that offered psychosexual therapy, contraception, and sex education free of charge.
Fast forward to the ‘60s, when the sexual revolution Reich may have started seriously picked up speed. Women’s rights, LGBT rights, the introduction of the birth control pill, and many more movements helped bolster the idea that healthy sexuality is a human right.
Today, with the internet and social media, it’s far easier to access sex-positive resources. There’s everything from websites, apps, and podcasts to sexologists and sex educators committed to upholding a sex-positive culture.
But it’s an ongoing process. Besides voting for politicians and policies that protect sexual identities and freedoms, one of the most influential things you can do is to learn how to be more sex-positive in your everyday life.
Here are some core habits of sex-positive types:
They prioritize their sexual health.
They support comprehensive sex education.
They’re comfortable with their sexual identity.
They have a positive attitude toward masturbation.
They communicate their sexual desires.
They don’t believe in slut-shaming or kink-shaming.
They find consent sexy.
They don’t support victim-blaming.
They believe in body positivity.
Keep scrolling for insight.
Prioritizing your sexual health is more than just practicing safe sex and testing frequently for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Sexual health also involves actively seeking pleasurable and safe experiences free from coercion and violence.
It’s having access to quality healthcare to address conditions that might prevent you from having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, whether that’s medication for erectile dysfunction, contraception, or even sex toys.
Studies show that comprehensive sexual education has positive lifelong impacts. When young people are educated about sexual health, they’re more likely to practice safe sex, respect sexual diversity, and develop healthy relationships.
The WHO defines comprehensive sexual education as accurate and age-appropriate information about sexuality and sexual and reproductive health.
The World Health Organization works with UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization), UNICEF (United Nations Children’s Fund), UNFPA (United Nations Population Fund), UN Women (United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women), and UNAIDS (the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS) on this issue.
Together, these organizations recommend scientifically accurate curriculum that’s customized for different ages and covers a wide range of topics on sexuality, including anatomy, puberty, contraception, pregnancy, relationships, and STIs.
Your sexual identity, or sexual orientation, refers to who you’re attracted to and want to pursue relationships with. It can include labels like gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, and queer. You can change labels as you learn more about yourself (sexual fluidity) or resist labels entirely.
Sex-positive people aren’t just comfortable with their own sexual identity but also with the sexual identities of those around them.
Masturbation is an important and healthy aspect of human sexuality, which typically emerges in childhood. But throughout history, this solo sexual practice has been demonized and falsely linked to ailments like blindness and hairy palms.
We now know masturbation can promote mental, physical, and sexual health. Whether you use your hand or a vibrator, self-pleasure can help you become more aware of what you find pleasurable, reduce stress, relieve sexual tension, and promote well-being. It’s also a great foreplay option.
Sex-positive types don’t find talking about sex embarrassing or shameful. They’re comfortable expressing their desires and boundaries to their partners and receptive to the desires and boundaries of others.
Communicating your sexual desires also means advocating for your sexual health by bringing up safe sex practices with your partner.
Sex-positive people don’t judge the sexual expressions of those around them. They’re tolerant and accepting of everyone’s sexual choices as long as they’re consensual.
Sex-positive individuals also don’t criticize others for their sexual histories, what kind of kinks they’re into, their sexual orientation, their STI status, or any other components of their sexuality and sexual health.
Being sex-positive means respecting your own boundaries and the boundaries of others. Nobody should have the power to force, coerce, or guilt-trip another person to engage in a sexual activity against their will.
Sex-positive people understand that consent is an ongoing process that may change over time. Saying yes once does not mean a person has lost the right to say no at a later time.
According to RAINN (the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), an American is sexually assaulted every 68 seconds.
Sex positivity means believing victims of sexual assault and not blaming them based on who they are, how they look, how they dress, and other factors.
Being body-positive doesn’t have to mean public nudity — though it can. Body positivity is more about having a positive relationship with your physical body and body image. It also means respecting body types that are different from yours.
Sex-positive couples have open and positive attitudes toward sex and intimacy.
Some of their habits include:
Frequently communicating sexual desires
Respecting each partner’s boundaries
Exploring new sexual experiences
Seeking help for sexual problems
Sharing fantasies
Prioritizing sex as a healthy and vital part of their relationship
If you could use support in promoting sex positivity in your relationship, read this guide on how to revive a relationship sexually.
You can also check out these tips on how to have better sex and how to have a better sex life.
Yes. Sex negativity is viewing sex (or certain sexual behaviors) as shameful, harmful, or sinful.
Examples of sex negativity:
Finding sex wrong, risky, or dirty
Abstinence-only sex education
Believing LGBTQIA people are deviant or sinful
Violence against sex workers
Slut-shaming and victim-blaming
Making negative comments about someone’s body
These mindsets and actions can be ingrained into society, but change is possible — and it often starts with education.
You’re not the first person to Google “sex positivity meaning.”
The sexual revolution is ongoing, and you’re part of it. Taking action to lead a sex-positive and healthy sex life is a step in the right direction.
Remember:
Sex positivity views sex as a natural and healthy part of the human experience. Sex-positive people have open, respectful, and non-judgmental attitudes toward sexuality and sexual relationships.
The sex positivity movement doesn’t just advocate for individual pleasure. Sex positivity activists argue that when people don’t have access to sex education and sexual health services, they’re more vulnerable to illness and hardship.
Sex positivity means different things to different people. Some sex-positive practices include communicating your sexual desires, advocating for consensual sex, embracing other sexual identities, and promoting comprehensive sex education.
Sex positivity also means addressing conditions that impede your sexual health. If you struggle with a sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunction (ED) or premature ejaculation (PE), you shouldn’t feel ashamed to seek treatment. From prescription medication to psychotherapy, a variety of options are available.
Schedule an online consultation on our sexual health platform to get the support you need.
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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Learn more about our editorial standards here.
Dr. Kelly Brown is a board certified Urologist and fellowship trained in Andrology. She is an accomplished men’s health expert with a robust background in healthcare innovation, clinical medicine, and academic research. Dr. Brown was previously Medical Director of a male fertility startup where she lead strategy and design of their digital health platform, an innovative education and telehealth model for delivering expert male fertility care.
She completed her undergraduate studies at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (go Heels!) with a Bachelor of Science in Radiologic Science and a Minor in Chemistry. She took a position at University of California Los Angeles as a radiologic technologist in the department of Interventional Cardiology, further solidifying her passion for medicine. She also pursued the unique opportunity to lead departmental design and operational development at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, sparking her passion for the business of healthcare.
Dr. Brown then went on to obtain her doctorate in medicine from the prestigious Northwestern University - Feinberg School of Medicine and Masters in Business Administration from Northwestern University - Kellogg School of Management, with a concentration in Healthcare Management. During her surgical residency in Urology at University of California San Francisco, she utilized her research year to focus on innovations in telemedicine and then served as chief resident with significant contributions to clinical quality improvement. Dr. Brown then completed her Andrology Fellowship at Medical College of Wisconsin, furthering her expertise in male fertility, microsurgery, and sexual function.
Her dedication to caring for patients with compassion, understanding, as well as a unique ability to make guys instantly comfortable discussing anything from sex to sperm makes her a renowned clinician. In addition, her passion for innovation in healthcare combined with her business acumen makes her a formidable leader in the field of men’s health.
Dr. Brown is an avid adventurer; summiting Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania (twice!) and hiking the incredible Torres del Paine Trek in Patagonia, Chile. She deeply appreciates new challenges and diverse cultures on her travels. She lives in Denver with her husband, two children, and beloved Bernese Mountain Dog. You can find Dr. Brown on LinkedIn for more information.
Education & Training
Andrology Fellowship, Medical College of Wisconsin
Urology Residency, University of California San Francisco
M.D. Northwestern University Feinberg School of MedicineB.S. in Radiologic Science, Chemistry Minor, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Published as Kelly Walker
Cowan, B, Walker, K., Rodgers, K., Agyemang, J. (2023). Hormonal Management Improves Semen Analysis Parameters in Men with Abnormal Concentration, Motility, and/or Morphology. Fertility and Sterility, Volume 118, Issue 5, e4. https://www.sciencedirect.com/journal/fertility-and-sterility/vol/120/issue/1/suppl/S
Walker, K., Gogoj, A., Honig, S., Sandlow, J. (2021). What’s New in Male Contraception? AUA Update Series, Volume 40. https://auau.auanet.org/content/update-series-2021-lesson-27-what%E2%80%99s-new-male-contraception
Walker, K., Shindel, A. (2019). AUA Erectile Dysfunction Guideline. AUA Update Series, Volume 38. https://auau.auanet.org/content/course-307
Walker, K., Ramstein, J., & Smith, J. (2019). Regret Regarding Fertility Preservation Decisions Among Male Cancer Patients. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e680-e681. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556300.18991.8e
Walker, K., & Smith, J. (2019). Feasibility Study of Video Telehealth Clinic Visits in Urology. The Journal of Urology, 201(Supplement 4), e545-e545. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000556071.60611.37