How To Last Longer In Bed

How Do I Last Longer in Bed?

Affecting 30 to 75 percent of men, premature ejaculation (PE) is widely considered to be the most common sexual dysfunction. Among other effects, PE can impact how long you can last in bed naturally. But even if you don’t live with PE, you may still want to learn how to last longer in bed.

If you want to become a master of sexual stamina and delay ejaculation, this guide can help you get there. Tips for lasting longer include using behavioral techniques like the stop-start method, taking prescription medication, and going to therapy. You may also want to rule out medical conditions that can contribute to shorter (and less satisfying) sexual experiences.

Keep reading to learn more about what makes you last longer in bed so you can be more in control and experience heightened sexual pleasure.

What Is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common sexual dysfunction in which a man feels unable to control the timing of his ejaculation. This can result in unsatisfying sexual encounters, psychological distress, and potential relationship issues.

There are two types of premature ejaculation:

• Lifelong PE. A man with lifelong PE has symptoms that have been present for all or most of his sex life.

• Acquired PE. With acquired PE, a man’s PE symptoms develop later in life after a period of normal ejaculation timing.

As far as what constitutes PE, know that there isn’t a rule on how long sex should last. But, if you feel distressed over your timing and have tried (and failed) to prolong sex, you may be struggling with premature ejaculation. In this case, the best next step is to consult a healthcare provider.

Premature Ejaculation Can Be Psychological

Researchers aren’t sure exactly what causes premature ejaculation, but certain psychological factors can play a role.

They include:

• Anxiety (including sexual performance anxiety)

• Depression

• Low self-confidence

• Relationship problems

• Poor body image

• Guilt

• Stress

• History of sexual abuse

Health Conditions Can Contribute to PE

There are also health conditions and medical issues that can contribute to premature ejaculation, such as:

• Penile hypersensitivity

• Diabetes

• Thyroid problems

• Prostatitis

• Multiple sclerosis

• High testosterone levels

• Chronic renal insufficiency

• Varicocele

• Erectile dysfunction (ED)

• Drug use or abuse (with substances like cocaine and methamphetamine)

Stop-Start Technique

The stop-start technique is a behavioral method for slowing down ejaculation and increasing the amount of time you can last in bed. 

It’s simple to try: When you feel like you’re about to ejaculate during sex, stop until you feel the urge to orgasm go away. You can repeat this process several times while you and your partner have sex in order to avoid orgasm and ejaculation and extend your stamina.

Not only does the stop-start technique let you have sex for a longer period of time, but it can also help you feel more comfortable with the sensation that occurs when you’re about to ejaculate.

This can make it easier for you to react to a too-early oncoming orgasm. From there, you can either slow down or stop your movement entirely until the sensation passes.

Pelvic Floor Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises, or Kegel exercises, are linked to several improvements in sexual health, including more control over ejaculation.

Yes, that’s correct, fellas. Men can benefit from kegels, too.

Your pelvic floor muscles are located below your penis and control the flow of urine from your bladder. You can feel your pelvic floor muscles in action when you tense while peeing. They help stop your urinary flow and also prevent defecation.

Research supports that these exercises can help with PE. For example, in a 2014 study, 40 men with lifelong premature ejaculation engaged in 12 weeks of pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation. At the end of the treatment period, more than 80 percent of the patients had gained control over their ejaculatory reflex. They increased their intravaginal ejaculatory latency time (IELT), or the total amount of time between penetrating the vagina and reaching climax. On average, the men's IELT increased from less than 60 seconds to a range between 123.6 and 152.4 seconds by the end of the 12 weeks. 

To practice Kegels, simply squeeze and hold your pelvic floor muscles for five seconds and rest for five seconds. Then repeat. Aim for 10 or 20 sets three times a day.

Foreplay

Foreplay is among the mainstay ingredients that contributes to satisfying sex. If you’re having trouble figuring out how to last long in bed, foreplay could also be the cheat code you’ve been hoping to find.

According to a 2017 survey of over 1,000 women published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, only around 18 percent reported that they orgasm from sexual intercourse alone, and tend to benefit from the addition of clitoral stimulation. 

So, take advantage of foreplay time: Use your mouth, fingers, or sex toys (yes, plural, like this one) to stimulate your partner’s erogenous zones, like the clitoris, nipples, or other sensitive areas. Doing so stands to make sex more enjoyable for everyone involved. 

Even a few minutes of foreplay can significantly increase the intensity of sex, helping you and your partner continue the good time for longer.

Long-Lasting Sex Positions

You don’t need to be a certified yoga instructor to try great new sex positions that might improve your stamina, increase your partner’s pleasure, or both.

Sex is all about angles. And for people with PE, positions like cowboy or cowgirl are often particularly helpful because they allow your partner to get more pleasure with less thrusting. This reduces your stimulation, increases theirs, and, in the process, might put the two of you on the same pace to the finish line.

We have a guide on sexual positions for small penises, too, in case that is helpful.

Visualization Techniques

Visualization is the process of using mental visual images to draw yourself into a specific scene or environment, such as a relaxing space free of any worries. While it’s used mostly in meditative relaxation, it can also be used in the bedroom to distract you from your urge to climax.

There’s no high-quality research on the effectiveness of visualization for PE, but many guys find that distractions in bed can improve their stamina.

Think about a spreadsheet or filling out tax forms, if that helps. Or maybe the weather or your favorite dessert. Whatever you go with, just try not to turn yourself off completely. 

The Squeeze Technique

Another way to put the brakes on an imminent orgasm is the squeeze technique. When you’re sexually aroused, blood flow to the penis increases. 

Similar to the stop-start technique, the squeeze technique requires you to stop sex when you’re on the verge of climax. But, this technique has the added step of firmly squeezing below the glans (head) of your penis until the urge to orgasm passes.

It’s important to communicate with your partner when using this technique. If you prefer to have your partner squeeze for you, make sure to clearly explain to them how much pressure to apply to your penis and when to squeeze. 

Masturbate Before Sex

At the end of the day, everyone wants a quick way to beat the system. One of the best ways to do so may be a solo quickie.

After having an orgasm, your body starts to enter what’s called the refractory period. During this recovery phase, you may find achieving an erection to be more difficult—if you’re even interested in having sex at all.

The length of the male refractory period can vary. For some men, it’s less than one hour, while for others, it may last for up to 24 hours. You may need to do some trial-and-error testing to figure out your refractory personal period. Once you have that information, strategically masturbating before sex can increase your time to ejaculation.

Just don’t overdo it, or you could end up with a situational degree of erectile dysfunction.

From specially designed condoms to numbing agents that can reduce your sensitivity and beyond, there are plenty of premature ejaculation treatments that can help you last longer.

Topical Anesthetics

One way to extend your sexual stamina is to use topical anesthetics, such as benzocaine or lidocaine. Both benzocaine and lidocaine are used as localized anesthetics, but in recommended topical doses, they can also reduce your sensitivity.

How you apply those medications to your penis depends on what seems easiest for you — medicated wipes, sprays, gels, and some condoms for premature ejaculation contain these numbing liquids and numbing creams.

For example, our Clockstopper Climax Delay Wipes contain benzocaine to give you greater control over your level of sensitivity during sex, all without excess numbing or discomfort. 

Applied to the genitals five to 15 minutes before sex, these over-the-counter products can help you stave off premature ejaculation and provide a nice confidence boost that can prevent sexual performance anxiety. Just make sure to wait if you’re about to have penetrative sex — otherwise, you might leave your partner uncomfortably numb.

Prescription Medication

Antidepressants like the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) paroxetine, sertraline, fluoxetine, and dapoxetine are commonly prescribed to treat depression, but they’re also sometimes prescribed as off-label treatments for premature ejaculation. The reason is the common side effect that they share: delayed orgasm. 

While SSRIs aren’t FDA-approved for PE, your healthcare provider may recommend using this type of medication if you often reach orgasm too early, effectively boosting your mental health in two ways.

Not all SSRIs treat PE symptoms equally. A 2019 review and meta-analysis published in BMC Urology found that the SSRI paroxetine was well-tolerated and more effective than escitalopram in the treatment of premature ejaculation, so that may be a good place to start.

Likewise, medication for erectile dysfunction might help in certain circumstances. The most popular medications for ED are Viagra^® (sildenafil) and Cialis^® (tadalafil). 

Hims Sex Rx + Climax Control is a 2-in-1 treatment for ED and PE. The compound medication contains prescription tadalafil for ED and fluoxetine to help you last longer.

Get advice from a healthcare professional to learn more about how these medications can help you last longer in bed.

Therapy for Premature Ejaculation

If you’ve tried some of the methods above and you’re still struggling, you may want to consider seeing a sex therapist or another mental health professional who is trained to provide guidance regarding these particular challenges. 

You may also consider couples therapy if you’re struggling to connect with your partner as a result of sexual performance issues.

There is also science to back up the notion of using therapy to treat premature ejaculation and last longer in bed: Studies support that combining medication and psychotherapy is a promising treatment option for lifelong and acquired PE—and is superior to solely using medication. 

This is because in therapy, men and couples learn skills and address the interpersonal and cognitive barriers that can contribute to the dysfunction.

That is, talking with a therapist can often help you deal with other underlying issues that may be affecting you in bed, such as a stressful workplace or challenges in your relationship.

Open Communication With Your Partner

Maybe the best answer to how to last longer in bed naturally is to make the experience more natural, calm, and communicative. Relationship problems often stem from a lack of communication, which can affect each person’s self-esteem and reduce the enjoyment of shared sexual activity.

Communication is a two-way street. Taking time to communicate your needs is just as important as asking them of your partner. 

Improved Cardiovascular Fitness

Exercise is vital for maintaining men’s health and wellness, and cardiovascular fitness is especially important for sexual performance. While neither of these things affects PE directly, your cardiovascular fitness is a crucial element of your overall sexual satisfaction (and your partner’s, too).

According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, high levels of cardiovascular exercise may have a protective effect against common forms of sexual dysfunction in both men and women.

The key is to find a form of cardiovascular exercise that you enjoy so that you’ll stick to it, whether that’s  jogging with your dog, playing basketball with friends, riding your bike around your city or neighborhood, or going for a hike.

With regular exercise, you may also see improvements in your weight, mood, and sleep, all of which can positively impact your erections and overall sexual function. 

Aim for 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic exercise or 150 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise per week, and try to incorporate at least two days of strength training into the mix.

A Healthy Diet

It's no secret that obesity can have a negative effect on your sexual performance. 

Research shows that men with obesity have an increased risk of erectile dysfunction.

Aside from getting a suitable amount of exercise every week, choosing foods that nurture heart health is an easy way to move the needle towards better sex.

Certain foods, such as whole grain carbs, lean meats, low-fat dairy products, fruits, and vegetables, may improve blood flow. This improved blood flow can help reduce your risk of issues like ED while maximizing the effects of exercise to increase stamina.

Above all else, try to limit foods that are high in saturated fats and sodium. These foods can have a negative effect on your circulation and sexual performance.

Next Steps on How To Last Longer in Bed 

Sex doesn’t need to be a marathon to be enjoyable. However, being able to “go the distance” certainly isn’t a bad thing when it comes to satisfying sex. 

For those of you wanting a cheat sheet, here are some next steps:

• Consider all the ways you can improve your stamina. Medications, topical agents, tools, and techniques offer solutions for various lifestyles.

• Figure out what works for your needs. If you’d like to improve your stamina and last for longer the next time you have sex, try one, two, or several of the tips above. Feel free to mix and match. 

• Getting professional help can speed up your improvements. If you find it very difficult to last in bed and feel concerned about premature ejaculation, you may also want to talk to a licensed healthcare provider about treatment options and get tailored tips.

For more ideas on how to last longer in bed, find out how to deal with PE in a relationship and explore these home remedies for PE.