How to Get Turned On: 7 Tricks That Actually Work

Key Takeaways:

• Sexual arousal involves both your body and your mind. Issues with either can affect how easily you get turned on.

• Stress, low testosterone, and sexual dysfunction can all lower your libido, but lifestyle changes or medical support are often able to help restore levels.

• Simple shifts can help you get turned on. Try reducing pressure, setting the mood, and spending more time on foreplay.
  

When you were a hormonal teen, there’s a good chance that getting horny was a piece of cake. You may have been more likely to wonder how to prevent an erection, instead of looking for tips for how to get turned on more easily.

You may not want to learn how to get horny like a teenager again, but if you can’t remember the last time you were in the mood for sex, you may benefit from some support to get your engine running.

First, you’ll need to figure out if there’s an underlying health issue driving down your libido. Low testosterone, mental health disorders, and chronic health conditions can all contribute to a low sex drive.

Once you identify the cause, you can explore some tips and techniques to make sexual arousal possible again. We’ve shared a few ideas below, which include taking the pressure off sex, spending more time on foreplay, and prioritizing open communication with your partner.

Before sharing tips, we’ll explain some background information about sexual arousal you may not know. We’ll also cover reasons you might be struggling to get turned on and how you can address these underlying issues.

There are two equally important components to explain how you get aroused: the physiological and the psychological arousal responses. 

The physiological or physical state of being aroused in men is typically characterized by having an erection.

However, psychological arousal doesn’t always involve erectile function. Rather, the state may present simply as a feeling of excitement or stimulation triggered by fantasies, images, or touch. This type of arousal is often referred to as sexual desire.

Furthermore, physical arousal isn’t just a matter of being hard or soft. It also involves changes in the autonomic nervous system, such as: 

• Increased blood flow to the genitals

• Elevated heart rate

• Heightened muscle tension

By the way, your autonomic nervous system regulates many involuntary body functions, which are functions you don’t consciously control, like heart rate, breathing, and digestion. It’s also behind both the “fight-or-flight” response, which releases adrenaline and heightens alertness, and the “rest-and-digest” response, which promotes relaxation and sexual arousal.

Keep reading for actionable tips on how to get aroused.

1. Take the Pressure Off

Nobody’s good at getting aroused under pressure. Whether you’ve been stressing about being “ready to go” or “in the mood,” the first step is to lower the stakes.

Remember, sex is about having a good time. And if you’re feeling anxious, your fight-or-flight response is engaged. This leaves little to no mental space to get turned on.

2. Set the Scene

Which sounds sexier: The DMV or your cozy home? Scenery and ambiance have the power to affect our state of mind. So, treat yourself and your partner to a romantic retreat in a room with dim lights and no screens. Doing so might improve your ability to relax and get turned on. 

3. Explore Erotica and Porn

Consider visual sexual stimuli, auditory erotica, or even a sexy podcast to see what gets you excited.

There may be fantasies you’ve yet to explore or acts you’re curious about that can perk up your imagination (and other parts of your mind and body). But check in with yourself about how porn may be affecting you: Some men can develop issues when their sexual response begins to be reliant on it.

4. Spend More Time On Foreplay

Don’t assume that when things start heating up, you immediately have to be ready for penetration.

At this point, you can still get things going by leaning on foreplay, with acts like touching, kissing, teasing, massaging, or performing oral sex on your partner. Sometimes, arousing someone else can be a turn-on. You can also explore mutual masturbation to enjoy simultaneous stimulation.

5. Care for Your Mental and Physical Health

Sometimes, an issue with arousal can signal a mental or physical health condition that requires medical intervention beyond setting the mood and watching a sexy film with your partner. In this case, it’s best to discuss with a healthcare provider or sex therapist what you’re experiencing. 

6. Try New Positions and Use Sex Toys

Shaking up the routine can work wonders for your arousal and for your partner’s satisfaction. Trying different positions is a great way to find different sensations that may be equally or more pleasing to both people.

For example, research suggests that many women experience heightened pleasure in sex positions in penetrative positions that feature stimulation beyond standard thrusting (think: rocking, angling, or pairing). 

You can also enhance sex and foreplay with sex toys. Male sex toys include vibrators, penis rings, vibrating penis rings, and prostate massagers. Ask your partner to explore your erogenous zones with a sex toy and then reciprocate the gesture. You can do so much before the main event, so take your time and enjoy.

These are just a few of the many ways to have better sex.

7. Communicate

Communication is the thread that ties all other items on this list together. It’s how you ask for what you want and ensure you’re providing what your partner needs.

Need more guidance? Check out these guides on how to spice up your sex life and how to revive a relationship sexually.

Physical Reasons

Not getting aroused could very well be due to a lack of chemistry or connection with your partner. But for many people, a lack of desire has a different — but still treatable — underlying cause.

Several potential reasons can explain a low libido, like cardiovascular issues or low testosterone.

Having a problem like erectile dysfunction (ED) can also mess with your sex drive. If you have this form of sexual dysfunction, you may be unable to get or maintain a full erection, which can lead to sexual arousal issues.

The following physical causes may contribute to ED:

• High blood pressure

• Cardiovascular and neurological diseases (like heart disease)

• Multiple sclerosis (MS) 

• Chronic inflammation due to diabetes

• Parkinson’s disease

• Metabolic syndrome

Psychological Reasons

While most of the aforementioned physical causes of erectile dysfunction affect your physical arousal, the following psychological causes can also prevent you from getting aroused:

• Depression and low self-esteem 

• Stress and anxiety at work, home, or in your relationship

• Performance anxiety

• A loss of interest in sexual activity

• A reliance on pornography

• Poor diet and exercise habits 

• A lack of attraction to your partner

Many of these factors are hard to diagnose without the support of a healthcare professional. The same goes for treatment. 

If you think you might have one of the above issues (or aren’t sure), make an appointment with a healthcare professional or consider sex therapy as the next step.

Erectile Dysfunction Treatment

Erectile dysfunction is highly treatable. Lifestyle changes like improving your diet and staying active can make a big difference, and medications can help with the physiological causes of ED.

ED medications won’t increase your libido, but they can help you get an erection if ED is compromising your sex drive. The most common drugs are phosphodiesterase 5 inhibitors (PDE5 inhibitors). These work by increasing blood flow to the penis, which promotes erections if you’re already in the mood.

There are several prescription ED pills available that are approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). These include:

• Cialis^® (tadalafil)

• Stendra^® (avanafil)

• Viagra^® (sildenafil)

Talk to a healthcare professional to find out if these medications might be a fit for your needs.

Low Testosterone Treatment

Studies suggest low testosterone is linked to low libido and ED. Low T can result from various underlying causes, including pituitary disorders and problems with the testes.

To address hormone problems and improve sexual function, talk to your doctor about testosterone treatments, including testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), enclomiphene citrate, and targeted lifestyle changes.

You can consider a 2-in-1 combination therapy that treats ED and low T at once, like Testosterone Rx with Enclomiphene and Tadalafil.

Mental Health Treatment

Some days, even the most sexually confident men just don’t feel like it. But a pattern of indifference to sex or a frequent lack of desire can signal an issue. And if it’s not due to low testosterone levels, it’s often a question of mindset.

Low self-esteem, performance anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions can make connecting with your partner difficult. Getting treatment for mental health issues in the form of therapy or medication can help with sexual dysfunction and get your focus back in the present — and on your partner.

It may be the case that your lack of desire is wrapped up in another conflict. For example, you may no longer find your partner attractive, or you may have a deeper connection with someone else, making it difficult for you to perform.

A therapy professional can help you sort out your feelings. It may sound scary to face these thoughts, but doing so is the best choice for everyone, including your partner.

Sex isn’t always as effortless. Real life is full of stress, distractions, and other factors that can make getting (and staying) turned on difficult. The key is to approach arousal with curiosity instead of pressure.

And remember:

• Arousal is both a mental and physical factor. Further, it's possible to have erections without being “turned on.”

• There are many strategies to help you get in the mood. You might try listening to audio porn erotic stories, using sex toys, and prioritizing foreplay, for a few examples.

• If romantic acts don’t clear your mental block, it might be time to talk to a medical professional. You may be struggling with ED, performance anxiety, or hormonal imbalances, all of which are treatable.

Try slowing down, focusing on the sensations, and making space for play and connection. Find even more options on how to improve your sexual health here.

Why can’t I get turned on, even when I want to?

A lack of arousal can stem from many causes — physical, psychological, or both. Stress, low testosterone, certain medications, and relationship issues can all affect libido. If you find you’re having trouble getting turned on, talk to a healthcare provider to rule out health-related causes.

Can I be aroused without getting an erection?

Yes. Psychological arousal (feeling excited or turned on) doesn’t always lead to physical arousal like an erection. You might be mentally stimulated by fantasy or touch without an immediate physical response — and that can be completely normal.

How can I get in the mood faster?

Arousal usually builds with time and relaxation. Setting the scene, focusing on foreplay, and reducing performance pressure can all help. You might also try porn or sex toys with your partner to help your body and mind sync.

When should I see a doctor about low arousal or ED?

If your lack of desire lasts several weeks or starts affecting your confidence or relationship, it’s worth checking in with a healthcare professional. They can help identify whether it’s due to stress, hormones, or another underlying condition — and discuss treatment options that fit your needs.