How Often Do Men Think About Sex?

Do men think about sex every seven seconds? For years, this stat has been thrown around, suggesting that men are obsessed with sex and have a higher sex drive than women.

We now know the average man does not think about sex every seven seconds (which is roughly 8,000 thoughts during his waking hours!). But how often do men think about sex in a day?

It’s probably less than you think.

This article will discuss how often men think about sex, how often women think about sex, and whether or not having sexual thoughts is healthy.

According to a study published in the April 2011 issue of the Journal of Sex Research, men think about sex around 19 times a day, while women think about sex 10 times a day.

Lead author Terri Fisher and her team of researchers at Ohio State University gave a golf tally counter (i.e., a clicker) to 283 college students (120 young men and 163 young women) and randomly assigned them to track their thoughts about food, sleep, and sex for seven days.

At the end of the study, men reported around 19 sexual thoughts per day, and women reported 10. This seems to confirm the general stereotype that men have higher sex drives than women.

However, the data also showed that men thought about food (around 18 thoughts per day) and sleep (11 thoughts) more often than women did. This led researchers to some new conclusions about gender and the frequency of sexual thoughts.

What Did the Study Debunk About Men vs. Women?

According to researchers, the data suggests two theories about men vs. women when it comes to sexual thoughts. Men may think about all of their biological needs more often than women (not just sex), or they simply find it easier to identify these thoughts.

Researchers also found that when men and women were analyzed together, subjects with the highest erotophilia scores, meaning those who were more comfortable with their sexuality, were more likely to think about sex frequently. This means that a person’s attitudes about sex play a bigger role in how often they think about sex (or report thinking about sex), rather than their gender being the greater predictor.

Why is this important? Well, it proves that men aren’t sex-obsessed maniacs, for one. But it also proves that gender differences around sex are probably not as pronounced as we previously thought they were.

The study also found that women who had high scores in social desirability (wanting to be socially accepted) reported fewer sexual thoughts. Researchers speculated that these women probably didn’t report their thoughts honestly because thinking about sex isn’t aligned with societal expectations of women.

Sometimes, it can feel like your sexual thoughts come out of nowhere. You may be thinking about what to have for dinner when — BAM! — you’re suddenly hungry for something else.

Other times, your sexual thoughts can be prompted by sexy stimuli — seeing your partner in a hot new outfit, reminiscing about a past sexual experience, being touched, flirting … the list goes on and on.

Frequently thinking about sex can be driven by several things, including your hormones, mood, attitudes toward sex, general health, and sexual opportunities.

One of the key biological drivers of sexual desire is testosterone, the primary male sex hormone. Studies show that androgens like testosterone play a key role in stimulating and maintaining sexual function in men, including sexual interest, arousal, and erection. A decline in testosterone is also associated with a loss of libido both in men and in women.

Put simply, if your T levels are low, you probably won’t be having as many sexual thoughts.

Sexual thoughts and fantasies are part of a healthy sex life. You shouldn’t feel ashamed if you think about sex often or if you don’t think about sex much at all, as long as your thoughts (or lack of thoughts) are not causing you distress.

As one 2021 study shows, sexual fantasies have a positive association with self-esteem and security. People who have sexual fantasies may also be less anxious.

Further, sexual fantasies can improve your relationship by strengthening intimacy, arousal, and connectedness. They even can be therapeutic and are commonly used by sex therapists when treating couples with sexual dysfunctions.

On the other hand, sexual thoughts and fantasies can be unhealthy if they interfere with your daily life. Obsessing about sex or engaging in compulsive sexual acts can make you less productive at work, cause relationship problems, and negatively impact your mental health.

Worried about the kind of sexual thoughts you’re having? According to the 2021 study mentioned above, the most common sexual fantasies were related to:

• Dominance/submissiveness

• Oral sex

• Anal sex

• Porn

• BDSM (bondage)

• Group sex

If you aren’t having many (or any) sexual thoughts, you may wonder if something’s wrong.

It’s perfectly normal for the libido to fluctuate from time to time. Stress, health issues, tiredness, relationship troubles, and many other factors can cause your interest in sex and sexual thoughts to decline.

However, if you’re persistently dealing with a low sex drive, it may be the sign of a bigger issue like low testosterone, depression, medication side effects, or chronic health issues. To rule out these underlying causes, you should contact a healthcare provider to find out what’s going on.

They may suggest healthy lifestyle changes, like cleaning up your diet or exercising more, or they may suggest medical treatments like testosterone replacement therapy.

But whatever you do, steer clear of herbal supplements that promise to increase your libido. These so-called miracle cures you might find offered as pills at the gas station are not FDA-approved and sometimes contain hidden ingredients that could be hazardous to your health.

If you think your low libido is related to a sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunction (ED) or premature ejaculation (PE), you may want to talk to a healthcare provider about treatments that can improve your sexual function and sexual confidence.

Or, maybe you just need a little help spicing things up in the bedroom. It’s normal for sexual desire to decrease in a long-term relationship, but it’s never too late to talk to a sex therapist or learn new techniques to revive your relationship sexually.

Learn more about how to improve your sexual health with medication, sex toys, and an assortment of over-the-counter products.

In summary, here’s what you should know about the amount of time men spend thinking about sex:

• Men think about sex around 19 times a day. A 2011 study debunked the myth that men think of sex every seven seconds. The study found that men think about sex around 19 times a day, compared to 10 times a day for women.

• Sexual comfort was a bigger influence than gender in the frequency of sexual thoughts. The researchers found that both men and women who were more comfortable with their sexuality tended to report more sexual thoughts. It turned out that sexual comfort was more important than gender in whether or not a person thinks about sex (or admits to thinking about it).

• Sexual thoughts and fantasies are healthy. Studies show that sexual fantasies may be a sign of high self-esteem and security. Sexual fantasies may also improve your relationship by strengthening intimacy, arousal, and connectedness.

Want to find new ways to channel your sexual thoughts? Check out these 11 tips on how to have better sex, explore 9 foreplay techniques, and find out how to deal with sexual frustration.

If you have concerns about your sexual thoughts, or rather lack thereof, consider an appointment to talk to a healthcare professional.