Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common issue. It’s perfectly normal to feel self-conscious about how long you last in bed if you often reach orgasm early.
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Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common issue. It’s perfectly normal to feel self-conscious about how long you last in bed if you often reach orgasm early. If you’ve been too afraid to ask your healthcare provider how to not “cum fast,” you’re in the right place.
Every guy has been there before. A new partner, a particularly erotic experience, or a general lack of experience can all trigger an early ending to a fun time.
It’s also natural to want to solve the problem. There are several things that you can do to increase your sexual stamina and delay ejaculation.
This guide will cover how to prevent climaxing too fast with techniques like:
Strengthening your pelvic floor
The squeeze method
Masturbating one to two hours ahead of sexual encounters
Talking to a therapist
Using thicker condoms
Applying desensitizing creams, wipes, or sprays
Making use of antidepressant side effects
Calling a timeout to delay orgasm
Communicating with your partner
Before we share more details on these solutions, it may be helpful to know the causes of premature ejaculation and how to know if you’re dealing with this all-too-common sexual problem.
Before you dive into our tips on how to not climax so quickly, it can be helpful to know a little more about premature ejaculation (PE), or early ejaculation, one of the most common sexual dysfunctions out there.
Reports are subjective, but research suggests between 30 and 75 percent of men might be affected by PE at some point in life.
You may be dealing with premature ejaculation if:
You almost always climax within one minute of penetration (this is known as lifelong premature ejaculation)
You’ve recently started climaxing within three minutes after penetration (this is called acquired premature ejaculation)
You’re unable to penetrate your partner because you ejaculate before sexual activity can start
To diagnose premature ejaculation, a healthcare provider will look for ongoing symptoms and whether they’re causing you distress.
Most research into intravaginal ejaculatory latency (IELT), which measures how long it takes to ejaculate after vaginal penetration, shows that timing and stamina vary a lot from person to person.
One study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that sex therapists in the United States and Canada described any total ejaculation time between three and 13 minutes as typical.
A different study of couples in the United States, the United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the Netherlands found that the median intravaginal ejaculatory latency for men was slightly over five minutes (range 0.55 to 44.1 minutes), with sexual stamina declining with age.
What your “average ejaculation time” should be is a complicated question to answer, mainly because sexual partners usually don’t have the same needs, preferences, and expectations, not to mention variables like different penetrative sex acts and foreplay.
Experts aren’t sure why some men struggle with premature ejaculation while others don’t.
However, research suggests a range of potential contributing risk factors that may play a role in the average time it takes you to ejaculate during sex. These may include:
Your luteinizing hormone levels
Your levels of prolactin and thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH)
Lower-than-normal levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin
Inflammation or infection in your prostate and/or urethra
Depression
Guilt about sexual intercourse
Chronic stress
Low or lack of sexual self-confidence
Your favorite videos on the internet might also be to blame. Unrealistic expectations about a healthy sex life — which could be linked to pornography use — are also thought to play a role in the development of premature ejaculation symptoms.
Put simply, there’s no single cause.
So what’s a man to do? Think about baseball? The weather? Taxes?
While distracting yourself with random thoughts may sometimes help, if you’re concerned you may be dealing with premature ejaculation, your best bet is to talk to a healthcare professional or consult a sexual health specialist, ideally one who specializes in men’s health.
If appropriate, they’ll diagnose you with premature ejaculation, and they may also be able to single out a root cause. At the very least, they’ll be able to offer some guidance on how to stop premature ejaculation.
There are a few behavioral techniques that may improve your sexual experiences if you have PE.
Yes, men can benefit from kegels, too. Pelvic floor exercises involve contracting the muscles you use to hold in urine and training them to be more responsive. This can give you the muscle control to hold back if you ever feel like it’s time to hit the brakes on ejaculation.
Studies on pelvic floor muscle training have shown that pelvic floor exercises (also known as Kegel exercises) can reduce some signs of PE and other male sexual health issues, like erectile dysfunction.
To start, check out our guide to home pelvic floor exercises for stronger, more responsive muscles.
Just like in sports, sometimes pausing the game when the tension gets too high is important. Sometimes referred to as the start-stop technique, a quick mid-session timeout is a simple way to stave off rapid ejaculation.
If you’re nearly finished and your partner isn’t even out of the gate, calling for a brief pause can give you a moment to relax and keep from climaxing too early.
Also, just because you “stop” briefly doesn’t mean you have to stop the whole game. This is a great time for some halftime foreplay to keep the action going for everyone.
The science is mixed on this approach, as studies of the stop-start technique leave numerous unanswered questions about whether or not it’s only beneficial in conjunction with other treatments.
But many men do find it helpful.
One of the more popular techniques for men coping with premature ejaculation involves squeezing the tip of your penis for a few seconds when you feel like you’re about to reach orgasm and ejaculate.
It was pretty much the only clinically recommended therapy for PE until the 1990s, give or take.
Using the squeeze technique during sex is simple — just gently squeeze between the glans (the head of the penis) and shaft as you feel orgasm approaching. You can also get your partner to do this for you to make the experience more intimate.
Our guide to the squeeze technique for premature ejaculation goes into more detail about how you can use this technique to enjoy more satisfying sex.
If exercises or behavioral therapy techniques don’t work for you, another option is to try masturbating before you have sex.
The idea behind pre-sex masturbation is to take advantage of your refractory period — a short period when you may find it harder to reach orgasm and ejaculate again. During this time, you might notice you can have sex for longer without feeling tempted to climax.
Masturbating an hour or two before you plan to have sex may work quite well, but remember: timing is everything. Trying this technique too close to when you’re planning to have sex could result in difficulty getting an erection. Timing-wise, you may need to do a little trial and error to find your sweet spot.
According to the National Institutes of Health, several psychological issues can play a role in premature ejaculation, including stress, anxiety, and depression.
If you’re experiencing sexual stamina issues and think they could be due to a mental health issue, consider therapy.
You don’t have to spend the entire time talking about your sex life, either. Meeting with a therapist is a great way to learn new strategies for successfully dealing with feelings of anxiety, stress, and worry — some of the common culprits for sexual performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction.
Among the most effective forms of therapy for anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps people with anxiety learn to stop their downward spirals before things get out of hand.
You may also want to see a therapist with your partner if PE is causing relationship problems. They can provide a safe space to openly and honestly discuss this problem and offer tips and techniques to try together.
If you don’t usually use a condom, consider wearing one when you have sex. Research on premature ejaculation has shown that thicker condoms can help keep you in the game longer.
If you already use condoms, try switching to ones that use numbing agents like lidocaine or benzocaine, like Hims Climax Control Condoms.
Just be aware that some numbing agents can cause allergic reactions, meaning it’s a good idea to talk to your healthcare provider before using any medicated condom. You should also let your partner know what you’re using if they have allergies.
Several medications, wipes, and sprays can help you last longer in the bedroom.
Premature ejaculation wipes and sprays work by reducing penis sensitivity during sex. Most wipes and sprays contain benzocaine or lidocaine, which are topical anesthetics that reduce sensitivity without affecting sexual pleasure.
This can help you reach orgasm and ejaculation on your timeline, improving your sexual stamina and everyone’s overall experience.
One small study of 21 men found that men who used benzocaine wipes showed improvements in ejaculatory latency time and sexual satisfaction.
In addition to keeping a condom or two in your pocket, you may want to consider packing a couple of PE wipes before a big night.
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are prescription medications typically used to treat depression. That’s probably where you’ve heard the term before.
These medications alter levels of serotonin in your brain and body, which helps to treat the symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders.
But they may also help you out in the bedroom, too. Difficulty ejaculating during sex is a common side effect of certain SSRIs. For this reason, many healthcare providers prescribe SSRIs like sertraline (Zoloft®) and paroxetine (Paxil®) for the off-label treatment of premature ejaculation.
While phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitor medications, like Viagra® (sildenafil) and Cialis® (tadalafil), are FDA-approved to treat erectile dysfunction or ED, these medications are sometimes prescribed off-label to treat PE as well.
There are several reasons ED medication may be effective for PE. They can help relax muscles associated with ejaculation. They may also increase confidence to help you maintain an erection (so you don’t feel like you need to rush).
What if you have another issue entirely? If you came here wanting to know how to climax faster, you may be dealing with the opposite of premature ejaculation: delayed ejaculation.
Men with delayed ejaculation find it difficult or impossible to orgasm and ejaculate. In some cases, reaching orgasm may require an extended period of stimulation.
Treatment for delayed ejaculation may include medication like injectable testosterone or the antidepressant bupropion, or you can explore lifestyle changes in sex therapy or with a urologist.
If you’ve been trying to learn how to reach climax faster, check out this complete guide on delayed ejaculation.
Keeping an eye on the clock can make sex less enjoyable for everyone, so if you’re reaching the finish line more quickly than you’d like, the ultimate goal is to get your head back in the game.
Whether you experience premature ejaculation or not, it’s natural to worry about your sexual stamina once in a while.
The good news is that there are plenty of solutions available.
Remember:
Some solutions don’t require a healthcare provider’s help. The squeeze or stop-start techniques, switching to a thicker type of condom, or using a topical numbing wipe or spray on your penis to reduce sensitivity during sex might be effective.
Therapy might help where tools and techniques fail. Interested in talking to a therapist? Consider seeing a therapist in person or seeking mental health services online to address the psychological issues behind PE.
When you ask for help, you have more options available. If these techniques don’t work for you, you may want to contact a healthcare provider to discuss other options.
We offer access to a range of evidence-based premature ejaculation treatments, including products available without a prescription.
We also offer access to several SSRIs for premature ejaculation following an online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. Get medical advice from a healthcare provider today to find out if you qualify.
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