Do Women Like Giving Head?

Do women like giving blowjobs? If you’ve asked yourself this question, you were likely hoping the answer was an enthusiastic yes.

While we can’t speak for all women, we can tell you what some of our female friends have told us about whether they like giving head and what can make the experience less enjoyable. 

Keep reading to find out what they said as well as what the research shows about how women really feel about blowjobs.

Oral sex is undoubtedly popular. One survey found that between the ages of 18 and 44, around 86 percent of women and 87 percent of men had either received or performed oral sex at least once.

But how many people, specifically women, enjoy performing this intimate act?

According to a 2016 study of nearly 900 university students, men were significantly more likely than women to find giving oral sex “very pleasurable” (52 percent vs. 28 percent). However, there were smaller gender differences when it came to receiving oral sex—most participants rated being on the receiving end highly.

After all, blowjobs can be hard work. To quote Sex and the City’s inimitable Samantha Jones, “They don’t call it a job for nothing.”

Complicating the matter even more is the emotional aspect of performing oral sex, especially among young women.

Research shows that young men reported being more satisfied with themselves as a result of having casual oral sex, as it made them more popular amongst their peers. However, some young women practicing casual oral sex felt used by their sexual partners. They also reported less pleasure, less satisfaction, and lower sexual self-esteem. Yet, performing fellatio in a trustful and committed relationship was associated with more positive emotions for younger women.

Of course, not all women feel used or dissatisfied when performing oral sex. A lot of women see giving head not as a subservient act but as a dominant one because they’re in control of their partner’s pleasure. This was in line with what we found when we asked a few of our friends whether they found BJs to be a turn-on.

We asked a few friends in their 30s and 40s whether BJs were a regular part of their sex life and whether they viewed them in a positive or negative light. Here’s what they said.

Blowjobs Are a Regular Part of Sex

Whether oral sex was a part of foreplay or the main event, all the women we talked to said they liked performing oral sex often or at least some of the time. Frequency ranged from “once a month” to “as often as I can.”

Blowjobs Put Them in Control

The most enjoyable aspect of giving head was that it allowed the women to feel powerful.

When asked what she liked about it, Siena*, a 37-year-old Californian, said, “Just how pleasurable it is for him. How I’m the dominant one and in control.”

Agatha*, a 45-year-old from Ottawa, Canada, told us she liked “the domination with pornographic undertones.”

And Suzy, a 32-year-old woman from Leeds in the U.K., said, “It’s a powerful feeling and seeing someone else get off, gets me off.”

There Are Some Downsides

Some women prefer penetrative sex over oral if given the choice. A 2016 study of first-year college students found that women found vaginal sex more rewarding than oral sex, whereas men found them equally rewarding.

Some of the downsides reported by our friends included not having “good gag reflexes” and having to deal with a partner’s poor hygiene—”sometimes it’s smelly.”

These are common complaints in research studies, too. 

Studies have revealed that some younger women are turned off by the smell and taste of men’s genitals or the sensation of “gagging,” “choking,” or “feeling sick.” The thought of swallowing ejaculate is why some women hate blowjobs, especially if they find their partner to be pushy about it.

Don’t want your partner to hate BJs? Follow these tips:

• Always ask for consent first and check in to make sure your partner is comfortable, even after sex has started

• Practice good hygiene to keep your penis healthy

• Reciprocate (or try the 69 sex position)

• Encourage your partner to touch themselves or use a sex toy when they’re going down on you

• Ask if there’s anything your partner would like to hear while they’re giving head (for example, some women into praise kink like being told they’re a “good girl” when performing oral sex)

• Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what feels good and what doesn’t

• Be polite when requesting a BJ—don’t make demands or guilt trip

• Always ask where you can finish instead of automatically finishing in their mouth

• Practices safe sex by wearing a condom during a BJ, especially if it’s the first time with a new partner

• If you experience difficulty with erection quality, try a cock ring to stay hard longer or explore erectile dysfunction treatments

Not all women like giving head, but there are ways to make the experience more enjoyable. Here’s what we know about women and oral sex:

• Some women may find oral sex more enjoyable in committed relationships. Research shows that some women may feel more comfortable giving head if they’re in a committed relationship than a casual one.

• Women get off on the dominant aspect of giving a BJ. While some women may see giving head as a subservient act, the women we talked to enjoyed the feeling of control they had over their partner’s pleasure.

• There are ways to make BJs more enjoyable for her. Practice good hygiene, be polite, and encourage your partner to pleasure themselves while they’re down there.

Want more tips on how to lead a more satisfying sex life? Check out this guide on how to spice up your sex life, get ideas on what to say during sex, and find new ways to please the woman in your life.

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Learn more about our editorial standards here.