Would You Marry a Man With Erectile Dysfunction?

When looking for a man who’s marriage material, qualities like kindness, honesty, and the same taste in karaoke songs may come to mind. But would you marry a man with erectile dysfunction?

If your partner has erectile dysfunction (ED) or you’re the guy in question, we’ve got news for you: Men with ED can have satisfying marriages.

If you’re willing to communicate as a couple and explore treatment options together, you just might sing a duet at your 50th wedding anniversary.

Keep reading to learn how ED impacts relationships, how mental health affects ED, and what steps you can take to start having better sex.

For most people, sex is essential to living a fulfilling life. When you’re not doing it, it can take a toll on your relationship and affect both partners’ mental health.

While ED may seem like a deeply personal issue, it usually isn’t. The condition can also impact those closest to the guy who’s struggling.

How ED Impacts a Man’s Mental Health

Hurt people hurt people.

Before you can understand how ED impacts relationships, you have to know how it affects the man dealing with it.

Studies show men with ED can experience:

• Low self-esteem

• Poor confidence

• A lost sense of masculinity

• Depression

• Denial

• Anger

These feelings can lead married men to avoid their spouses out of fear they won’t be able to meet their partners’ needs. Some men react with anger, deny they have ED, or develop a low libido (reduced sex drive).

But running from a problem rarely works. When men avoid their partners and don’t seek treatment, they create a vicious cycle of increased anxiety and heightened ED.

Despite how common it is, ED remains underreported. Many patients are too embarrassed to seek help or don’t think effective treatments are available.

Making matters worse, some healthcare providers need more training to help their patients out. They may consider ED less severe than other health conditions or feel uncomfortable addressing it.

If you haven’t gotten the help you need from your healthcare provider, don’t be afraid to shop around.

How ED Impacts Partners

Would you marry a man with ED if he blamed you for it? Probably not.

In a study of nearly 14,000 women, roughly 15 percent said their partners blamed them for their erection problems. As a result of feeling blamed, women were more likely to be less sexually satisfied and end their relationships.

Women partnered with men facing ED may develop negative feelings toward their husbands over time. They might also ignore the problem to save their husbands’ “sense of masculinity.” But this usually means settling for a sexless relationship.

Research suggests many partners struggle with guilt or wonder if they’re unattractive if their partner has ED. 

How ED Impacts Employers

Erectile dysfunction doesn’t just affect your home life. It can also hurt your career.

Studies show men with ED are more likely to miss work and be less productive while on the clock. Having erectile dysfunction can keep you up all night or trigger a fight between you and your boss or colleagues.

But stress and relationship problems can also cause (or worsen) psychological ED, leading to another vicious cycle.

You already know ED can affect your mental well-being and relationship — but it’s actually a two-way street.

Psychological causes of ED include:

• Sexual performance anxiety

• Stress

• Relationship conflict

• Depression

• Guilt

• Low self-esteem

• Excessive porn use

• Masturbation

It’s vital to talk to someone if you think mental health issues are affecting your sex life. Your healthcare provider may suggest therapy, counseling, medication, or other solutions.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Why would you marry a man with erectile dysfunction? Because the condition is treatable and not the end of the world.

Keep reading to learn more about available treatment options.

Would you marry a man with ED if effective solutions were available? If so, you’re in luck.

Practicing open communication at home, seeking therapy, and exploring treatment options together can improve ED and your relationship.

Communicate

The secret to a good sex life? Don’t keep any secrets.

Studies show men in relationships are more motivated to get help for ED when both partners are willing to talk about it. They’re even more motivated when their female partners start the conversation.

According to researchers, talking about ED helps reduce feelings of hopelessness and guilt. But it isn’t just the talking that encourages men to seek treatment. It’s how you talk about it.

Mental health experts and sex therapists suggest women:

• Mention their feelings when talking about their partner’s ED

• Refer to ED as a shared problem

• Approach their partner when he’s in a good mood

If you’re unsure how to get the conversation going, consider seeing a therapist.

See a Therapist

Sometimes, it’s helpful to talk to a professional.

A sex therapist or couples counselor can guide you through coping strategies for ED and pinpoint unhealthy communication patterns. They can also educate you and your partner about what causes ED and how common the condition is.

If you receive homework during therapy, like touching exercises or reading assignments, do it — sooner rather than later. Research shows treatment for ED is more successful when couples do the assignments early and actively work on their communication.

Find Other Ways to Be Intimate

Finding other ways to be intimate can take the pressure off sex and reduce stress.

Some non-penetrative sex ideas to try:

• Making out

• Cuddling

• Mutual masturbation

• Massages

• Oral sex

• Roleplay

When you’re ready to dive into sexual activity, start slowly. Check out these tips for having sex with ED.

Explore Treatment Options Together

Studies show women play a critical role in the success of ED treatment. That’s why couples are encouraged to seek help together when possible.

Though therapy is one of the best interventions for psychological ED, numerous oral medications can help improve physical symptoms — no matter what’s causing them.

The most common ED medications help widen blood vessels to improve blood flow to the penis. They include:

• Viagra® (and its generic sildenafil)

• Cialis® (and generic tadalafil)

• Stendra® (avanafil)

• Vardenafil (generic Staxyn®)

• Chewable ED meds

Keep in mind these medications don’t increase libido. But they do help men get and maintain erections when they’re already in the mood.

Beyond therapy and medication, you may want to explore healthy lifestyle changes together. This includes following a nutritious diet, exercising, limiting alcohol, quitting smoking, and managing stress better.

When treating ED, it’s also important to rule out medical conditions known to affect sexual function. These conditions include:

• Diabetes

• High blood pressure (hypertension)

• Nerve damage

• Obesity

• Low testosterone levels

• Prostate cancer

Motivating your partner to get checked out may end up improving more than his erectile problems.

Read our blog to find out more about how ED can serve as a warning sign for more serious health conditions.

Would you marry a man with erectile dysfunction? Don’t write him off just yet.

We get it — ED can be frustrating. But it’s also solvable.

To improve your relationship and ED, remember:

• ED impacts both partners. Studies show ED can cause low self-esteem, depression, and poor confidence. But female partners suffer as well. Be sure not to point fingers.

• ED can affect your work. Men with ED are more likely to miss work or be less productive there. This can lead to worsened mental health, financial problems, and relationship conflict.

• The relationship between ED and mental health is complex. ED can impact a man’s mental health, and his mental health can affect his ED. Psychological ED causes include anxiety, stress, depression, guilt, and relationship strain.

• Treatment for ED is often more successful when partners seek solutions together. These include open communication, couples therapy, medication, and finding other ways to be intimate beyond sexual intercourse.

Ready to take the next step to improve your sexual health and explore ED treatment options? Do a quick online ED consultation on our telehealth platform today.